The Vampire Diaries: Ghost World (Season 3, Episode 7)

Jeremy, why do you date supernatural creatures? Gross!

Damon wakes up chained to a chair, with a poker in his chest. He thinks it is Stefan, but we see the ghost of Mason staring him down. Stefan finds Damon and is amused, but insists that he didn’t do this “pretty messed up” act. (Stefan’s comment is reminiscent of Katherine calling Gloria “creepy.”) Stefan pulls out the poker and takes off one of the chains, but he leaves him be otherwise. The apparently invisible Mason’s expression reads, “These brothers have a VERY complicated relationship.” He tortures Damon with sunlight. Stefan either doesn’t hear or care about his brother’s cries of pain.

Head of the history department (a dreaded Fell) follows the mayor’s prelude about Mystic Falls’ rich history. Alaric is forcing Jeremy to share his boredom, or he will fail him. Invisible ghost Anna makes fun of this version of history. She and Jeremy hold hands as he smiles but looks around warily. Elsewhere at the event, Bonnie tells Caroline that Jeremy still has a direct connection to Anna and the other side as long as he wants to. Damon shows up and lets Bonnie know that the ghost of Mason has been avenging himself: “When I kill someone, they’re supposed to stay dead.” Matt observes.

Elena wants Jeremy to try to contact Lexi to get Stefan back to normal. Jeremy says contacting ghosts is more complicated than that. Alaric points out that contacting ghosts could be a mistake. He points out that they supposedly can’t interact with the living, but Vicki blew up his car. When did Alaric get so funny? Bonnie interrogates poor Matt, hoping that Vicki is the only one with a foothold in this world. There is a bit of lingering tension between Matt, Bonnie, and Caroline, his ex-girlfriend. Suddenly Bonnie’s grimoire opens to a page describing to how to make ghosts tangible.

Anna tells Jeremy that some supernatural beings, possibly including Lexi, find peace. Elena is startled by the revelation that Anna is there, but Anna tells Jeremy to lie that she isn’t. Alaric wants Elena to drop it; he notes that he doesn’t want to think about all the ghost vampires watching over them, hehe. Stefan stops by, repeating that he has to protect Elena, he doesn’t care anymore, and they need to move on. He also makes a joke about eating all the people at a gathering tonight. Elena is horrified, but Stefan says he’s kidding. Alaric’s unsurprised face just says, “I hate vampires.”

Anna, I know when I was with you, I loved someone else who was dead. But now that you're dead, and I'm with someone else, I love you!

Bonnie takes Caroline to the place where Jeremy was brought back to life. It’s cute that Caroline, a vampire, is spooked by the idea of ghost-witches. Bonnie gets into the witch zone and Caroline looks warily at the blowing cobwebs, heh. Caroline is scared of Bonnie’s magic (has she never seen her do this before? I guess she always has been disbelieving) and suddenly—Grams appears! Awesome. Is this the episode where we get to see every character who died?

Jeremy is suspicious of Anna. She swears that he needs to trust her. Is she untrustworthy or just lonely? In spite of his reluctance, he “cheats” on Bonnie by kissing the air—I mean, Anna. Elena walks into the bathroom and sees Jeremy and Anna making out. Outside, Stefan walks along and spots Lexi. Damon approaches Alaric at the bar (their place), and Alaric protests that Damon has problems, the two of them aren’t friends, and he doesn’t like Damon anymore. But Damon reminds him that they conspired to successfully kill Mason Lockwood. Mason then appears. He takes a swig of whisky and breaks the glass over Damon’s head.

I love you Lexi. Stefan is confused as to why his dead friend is here, and he tells her that he doesn’t want her help. Lexi says that’s what he always says and smacks his head against the car. No one notices. In the creepy house, Bonnie cries as Miss Sheila explains that the original witch, I assume, cracked open the door to the other side when Bonnie sent Vicki back. Witches make the rules and talk with one another. Now it is Bonnie’s duty to set things right. Her grandmother does not, however, want her to get mixed up with original vampires. Oops.

Caroline updates Elena who scolds Jeremy for kissing Anna. Elena’s necklace apparently needs to be destroyed. Lexi interrupts Elena’s mission and tells her to follow her for a ripper detox lesson. She takes Elena to a chained up Stefan. Lexi uses some sort of ghost magic (?) to speed up the process of starving a vampire. Stefan starves, but he looks fine. Elena phones Caroline, asking to hold off on sending the ghosts back. Caroline lets it slip that they will all deal with their boyfriend problems later. She admits to Bonnie that Anna kissed Jeremy. The two ladies are determined to send that bitch back. Why do I find their almost wicked determination vaguely amusing?

Elena, you have serious problems, says the fellow who rips people's heads off.

Alert hilarious scene of awesomeness: Mason drinks on either Damon’s or Alaric’s tab and demands an apology. Damon tells Alaric to go to the back of the revenge-against-Damon line. Alaric laughs and urges Damon to apologize. Mason accepts Damon’s difficultly wrought almost-apology. Mason wants to help Tyler, but Damon says no one can help him while Klaus is alive which is, “like, always.” Mason says that there is a weapon that can kill Klaus. Mason leads Damon into a Lockwood cellar/cave and says that there is a legendary weapon that can kill Klaus. Newsflash: you know how the ladies love Stefan, no matter how he treats them? The men Damon’s murdered are exactly the same with Damon.

Jeremy searches for Anna and bumps into that a-hole vampire Frederick. Are you kidding me, the tomb vamps are here? Alaric gives a little speech, and the crowd looks up to see that very Fell bloodied, dead, and tied to a tree. Frederick smiles at Anna. Nearby, Stefan pleads for Elena’s help and says he loves her. When Elena says she is helping him, he says he wishes he never met her and every moment together was a waste. Lexi says not to pay any attention to him. She then starts to stab him to make him see past the blood and feel something. Elena can’t deal with it and runs outside.

Caroline and Bonnie unsuccessfully search for the necklace. Jeremy calls. Caroline says she thinks Anna took the necklace. Jeremy says he believes Anna didn’t, so she calls him an idiot and says he might lose everything (harsh even according to Bonnie, based on her expression). Jeremy looks around; Anna has gone. He tells Elena that he loves Anna, he’s always loved Anna. Elena says that his love isn’t real because Anna is a ghost. She sees Anna and says that she is holding Jeremy back and she knows it. Anna holds up the necklace. Elena is ready to take care of business. Elena is right (if hypocritical), but this scene is so sad.

Mason knows that Damon will do anything for his brother. He leads him deeper into the cave. Then, stakes fly into Damon from every direction. Poor baby! Suddenly I like Mason a lot more. He helps a completely incredulous Damon and tells him that he doesn’t need revenge. The loneliness and regret on the other side shows him that what he needs is redemption. He wants to help Tyler. Damon can’t continue any further because he’s not invited into this part of the cave. Hm. He has to trust Mason. Trust, as we all know, is not Damon’s forte.

Anna has never lied to me before, so, yes, I believe her!

Caroline and Bonnie are on their way home when Caroline somehow recognizes Frederick. Or perhaps she just connects the dots. Mrs. Lockwood’s car is on the wayside. She steps out and heads towards Frederick after ordering Bonnie to go home and send the ghosts back. Anna tells Jeremy that she stole the necklace partly in hopes of finding her mother. She fears that there is no peace. Jeremy says that he believes there is and he won’t let her be alone. Heartbreaking!

Some version of This Woman’s Work plays as Bonnie and her grandmother say a spell. Jeremy returns the necklace. The adorable Caroline kicks vampire ass left and right until they disappear. Just as Mason is about to tell Damon what he’s found, he disappears. Lexi continues to stab a stubborn Stefan, but she says she needs more time. Lexi tells Elena that Stefan is still in there if they break through. Elena says she knows what to do and Lexi can be free. Lexi disappears. Elena is about to leave, making Stefan think that she’s given up. She grabs his face (unsafe!) and says that she hasn’t given up. But he needs to find hope, or he will lose her forever. She took to heart her speech to Jeremy about not loving ghosts.

Oh dear. I might be crying. Anna spots her mother Pearl; they embrace and cry. Before disappearing, Miss Sheila tells Bonnie that she is proud of her, and Bonnie is stronger than all of this. Jeremy tries to explain, but Bonnie says that Matt was able to let go of his sister before Jeremy was able to let go of Anna. He loses. To be fair, Bonnie is the one who saved his life. She sends him away. Then the fireplace sparks, and she sees the necklace lying there, intact.

Alaric joins Damon in the cave. Damon says that Alaric and Elena are the only humans he trusts. He also tells Alaric to get over the fact that he killed him since Mason did. Alaric rightly says he shouldn’t have to, but Damon recycles his Mason “apology,” says he didn’t mean it with Mason, and gives Alaric the eye thing. Alaric helps him out. Alaric tells Damon that he found something—he has no idea what. It’s some sort of writing on the walls. And something lives—or lived—there. Hm. What is this original speak?

I didn't steal the necklace to stay with you, btw. No hard feelings.

The Vampire Diaries: Smells Like Teen Spirit (Season 3, Episode 6)

I did not look like this in high school.

Elena wakes up early after a very bad day. She covers up the bite marks on her neck from Stefan and/or Rebekah before following Alaric outside. Alaric trains Elena, though she doesn’t possess his sexy muscles (or tattoo). Why they are training against Stefan now, after Damon and literally dozens of vampires terrorized her and everyone else, is beyond me, but they both look pretty badass. And Alaric sweetly says Elena is the strongest person he knows because she got out of bed that morning, after all she’d been through.

Elena, Caroline, and Bonnie walk sexily into the first day of school. Elena dons the accessory of many a Damon girlfriend: the scarf. They complain about their lives, but Caroline insists they move forward. Elena says she has to put her past behind her. Her “boyfriend” Stefan is playing some form of twister that involves many dead girls. Damon disapproves of the mess. Rebekah moves in without either Damon or Stefan’s approval. Stefan doesn’t like her now for some reason, and Damon doesn’t know who she is.

Bonnie’s a little hard on Jeremy about his ability to see dead ex-girlfriends. Matt is able to see his dead sister, so he spends his morning talking to himself or rather his sister Vicki. Vicki dubiously says again there’s a way to bring her back. Matt misses her. He has no parents. His ex is dating a vampire. And now he seems crazy. An unnaturally perky Tyler interrupts him. Far away in a tomb, Katherine, meanwhile, is having no luck in reviving the vampire Michael. Damon calls her and tells her to step on it. She spots a mourner at the graveyard and decides to give it another shot.

Stefan's most fiendish act: making fun of how slow Elena is.

Damon refers to Rebekah as Barbie-Klaus and sweetly makes fun of Stefan’s broody persona instead of telling Elena who Stefan is killing. Tyler shows up and smooches Caroline in front of Elena. Tyler and Caroline get into a lovers quarrel because Tyler says that Rebekah is hooking him up with blood bags. He thinks it’s awesome that he is Klaus’s first successful hybrid!  In a similar fashion to the dance Elena and Stefan did outside the bathroom in the pilot episode (as well as a “coed” bathroom scene), Elena runs into Stefan. He says he’ll protect her and grabs her. Alaric tells him to stop, but Stefan shoves Alaric, his history teacher, attracting attention. Stefan notes that he doesn’t want to be a senior for the 100^th time, but this is his job. He’s a real douche.

Everyone here is crazy, let’s face it. Elena tells Alaric that they have to do something about Stefan. Caroline is surprised to see Stefan and then Rebekah waltzes into class. So three of these students are vampires, one of whom is an original vampire, and one is also a werewolf. Alaric just wants to talk about Native Americans. Outside, Jeremy interrupts Matt’s tete-a-tete with Vicki. Jeremy pretends not to see her, but he immediately consults Anna. Vicki cites a ritual that could bring her back (hopefully not involving a dead relative). Vicki and Anna explain that she can come back as a ghost if the witch’s power from the other side pushes her through. Anna is worried. Matt looks concerned but wants to he help.

Chaos on the sports field! Rebekah moves in on Caroline’s territory (after someone asks what happened to dead Dana) by trying out for the cheerleading squad and saying she’s after Tyler. Isn’t he kind of her child? Or great-etc. grandchild? She shows off her moves. Tyler compels the coach to let them get drunk at the bonfire party. He tells Caroline to chillax because Klaus gave him this gift. On the tracks, Stefan annoys Elena, pushing over a guy who bumps into her. Elena is still convinced he isn’t Stefan, who refers to her as a human blood bag… “no offense.” He is acting a bit like Tyler used to.

Stop trying to protect me! You are so evil!

Elena lifts weights. Damon asks her if she is going to bench press a vampire and calls her Buffy. Elena wants to lock up Stefan for now, but Damon isn’t hopeful. Still, he gives her a very sexy lesson in how to kill a vampire. He has her feel his sternum, and he touches her spine under her shirt. Then, they almost kiss. He assures her that no one, including Stefan, is going to hurt her. Bonfire redux: a powwow meets to stop Stefan. Damon just wants to use Bonnie (smart man), but Elena is worried that Stefan will hurt her. (Wouldn’t Stefan suspect something? He is a horrible bodyguard.) Elena tells Damon to distract Rebekah with his charm. Damon is the voice of reason here. He also is the first to notice that Tyler is very obviously a Klaus fan. The solution: Caroline needs to get a new boyfriend.

Elena downs a beer in front of Stefan and Rebekah. Stefan tells her she’s a lightweight. Rebekah likes Elena’s snark when she calls him a blood addict. Elena gets drunk and actually smiles at a guy drinking from a keg. She and Stefan raise their eyebrows and glasses at one another. Damon shows Rebekah how to eat a marshmallow in a hot way. Elena spots them and looks jealous. Stefan pulls a Damon by invading her bubble and whispering in her ear. Stefan actually points out that she’s jealous. He doesn’t seem to give a crap, even though she contradicts him.

Even though Damon says he can be mean if Rebekah wants him to, she knows he’s distracting her and stabs him in the stomach with her marshmallow stick. Inside, Tyler wakes up after being vervained. Caroline gives him a talking to. She said he’s trying to please Klaus. Tyler says he’s no one’s pet (hah). Caroline says he’s acting like the old Tyler. Oh snap, she went there! He says he’ll try not to be his enhanced bad self because he likes Caroline so much. He is looking very attractive. They make out. But… is he sincere? Can he “be careful?”

Ninja position. (What are they looking at? Wasn't Elena's biggest problem at this point her drunk self?)

Elena drunkenly teases Stefan (who is acting like his old self – he wants her to be careful and go home) until she falls from the top of the bleachers. He catches her, and they share a moment. Is there something still there in him, in spite of it all? Alaric shoots Stefan with vervain, but observes that Elena is underage and “not sober.” Elsewhere, Matt does some sort of blood ritual; there are candles, there is smoke, and he and Vicki embrace – he can feel her. Bonnie’s just mad Jeremy’s talking to Anna. Vicki reveals that she made a deal with the witch to kill Elena so Klaus can’t make any more hybrids. She knocks out Matt and leaves.

Matt confesses this to Bonnie, who takes care of business as Vicki sets the car with Elena and Stefan on fire. She sits in the car and prevents Elena from leaving. How does Stefan wake up? He must not have been too vervained. Bad plan, you two. Stefan could have woken up and murdered Alaric while he was driving. Vicki takes way too long to kill Elena. To be fair, Vicki did know her. Bonnie manages to send Vicki back as Stefan kicks out the back of the car. Elena is sure to save Stefan, and Elena, Alaric, and Stefan get out before the car blows. Matt says goodbye because he can’t let Vicki hurt anyone. No one can win on this show.

Damon applies first aid to Elena. She almost admits that she was jealous, and Damon admits that he was totally faking it with Rebekah. Elena smiles at him. Alaric interrupts them. Damon is still trying to get back into his good graces. Others making up include Tyler and Caroline who dress after having amazing sex in the middle of a living room. Correction: Tyler is only wearing a towel. Damn. Unfortunately, Rebekah comes in and sexily offers him a bitten and bleeding girl. Tyler tries to resist, but Rebekah mentions Klaus and bites into the girl again. Tyler rushes over and drinks.

Danger, danger: high voltage! (When we touch, when we kiss.)

Michael had refused to drink, but Katherine eventually wakes him with blood. Michael, apparently a self-hating vampire, tells her to get the body away from her. She says he’s not so scary. He apologizes in his polite British accent for his outburst. He says he hasn’t had human blood in years because he doesn’t feast on living things, but he can and will kill Klaus. A remarkably careless Katherine frees him from his chains, and Michael shows what kind of blood he does drink: VAMPIRE BLOOD. Can a vampire survive on that, or is he just special?

For some reason, Bonnie is ignoring Jeremy’s calls. At the Gilbert house, Jeremy admits that he can’t stop thinking about Anna, and she can’t stop thinking about him. They touch hands and realize that they can feel one another. Ghost sex ensues… or hand holding, whichever you want to imagine.

Elena wants Alaric to befriend Damon again. Stefan weirdly thanks them for saving him. Elena confesses that she still has hope. Stefan says she is extremely pathetic. She disagrees and claims to be strong before stabbing him in the gut with wooden stakes. She’s a lot harder on Stefan than she was on Damon, I guess because she loved Stefan. After they leave, Damon thinks Stefan is running around knocking over vases. Someone gives Damon a good punch, and who is it? None other than MASON LOCKWOOD. So are a bunch of ghosts making their way over to Mystic Falls? The residents are in huge trouble. Someone dies every day there.