The Vampire Diaries: The Ties That Bind (Season 3 Episode 12)

Don't worry, Bonnie, she'll probably be dead soon. She is a parent of a Mystic Falls resident.

Bonnie finds coffins in a wooded graveyard. She approaches one. Klaus appears and says he’s figured out how to open it. Can she? He bites her. Bonnie screams and wakes up—in a coffin. She yells and bangs on the coffin until someone opens it. When she wakes for real, Bonnie tells Elena about the coffins and her dreams. Elena is bothered that she is only just finding out about this, and Stefan shows up, annoyed that Elena knows at all. She asks if he’s going to kidnap her again. He says, don’t tempt me. Bonnie shows them a picture of the woman in her dream: her mom.

Elena and Bonnie go through records of women who could be Bonnie’s mother. They make up over their past differences of opinion, until Damon shows up with information. He loves road trips, but Elena says he’s not coming because they don’t need his snarky comments narrating the experience. After a couple flirtatious comments, Damon tells Bonnie that he and Elena kissed.

Caroline goes home to find Tyler waiting in her living room. He apologizes and says he had no control over what he did. She doesn’t accept the apology, but Tyler tells her that he contacted Caroline’s dad to help him break the sire bond. Her father Bill turns up and says he will help Tyler because he wants to make good after making a mistake.

Alaric is gaga over Meredith the angry drunk. She agrees to another date. Damon wants to know what’s up with his boyfriend, so he points out that a sexy doctor like that must have a weakness. Eventually Alaric finds out that Meredith’s ex has been murdered; Alaric and Damon are concerned. Also, Damon makes a crack about how Alaric’s exes can’t badmouth him because they’re all dead. Alaric is the most patient friend on earth.

Why was this moment cut?

Just like Caroline, Stefan returns home to find an estranged ex in his living room. Klaus is drinking and listening to music. He tries to make some sort of deal with Stefan, but Stefan is immovable. Klaus laughs at the idea of crazy Stefan and asks if he has any friends left. Klaus, if you want real friends, you could learn a thing or two about how not to behave. (Apparently, Klaus was listening to the song Lonely Boy by The Black Keys. Why do the writers pretend there’s nothing going on between these two?)

Elena and Bonnie discuss Bonnie’s mother or lack thereof, but Bonnie wants to know the goods on Damon’s kiss. Bonnie is less judgmental and more, “… so was it good? Must have been.” The phone rings. It’s Stefan. Elena doesn’t want to pick up, but Bonnie says Stefan is phone stalking her. Elena tells him to stop and lies that they’re spending the night at the lakehouse. Stefan says fine, but he is in Elena’s house looking at a photo of Bonnie’s mother.

Over the phone, Klaus tells a hybrid that he isn’t lonely without him; he’s friends with the council. The hybrid has been stationed outside the house that holds Abby, Bonnie’s mother. He knocks on the door and says hello. But when Bonnie and Elena arrive at Abby’s house, they meet Jamie, the cute, laid back guy Abby’s taking care of. Elena’s pleased to know that he and Bonnie aren’t related. Abby shows up; she and Bonnie say hello.

Abby says that she left Mystic Falls partly because she was best friends with Elena’s mom. Mikael came to town 15 years ago looking for the doppelganger. No one could destroy him, so Abby lured him away and created a spell to keep him inactive. It cost all of her powers. Bonnie points out that like her powers, Abby never returned. Elena goes outside to give them a moment. The music is ominous; we see the back of a man’s head. It could be the hybrid—but it’s Stefan.

Damon confronts Meredith at the hospital about the death of her ex, though he initially says he just likes to stroll the halls and wave to the newborns. She says she’s still processing his death and she said his cause of death was an animal attack because he was staked like a vampire. Damon says Alaric likes her, and he hopes she’s not a murderous psychopath (like he is). After asking about Alaric’s ability to resurrect, she stabs him in the back with what I assume is vervain. She draws some of his blood while he is unconscious.

But we don't have to be invited in.

Of course, Bill’s method of psychology is physical pain. He tells Tyler that to break his gratitude towards Klaus, he has to turn into a wolf. It will be his choice to be in pain. Tyler and especially Caroline are concerned, but Tyler takes one look at Caroline and agrees. This is a testament to Tyler. Bill pushes Tyler to continue to transform, but both Caroline and Tyler want a break. But then Bill and Tyler tell her to go, and she reluctantly leaves. Bill begins to cut Tyler with an axe. He threatens to kill him if he doesn’t turn. This is partly for Caroline’s sake.

Abby admits that she left Mystic Falls permanently when she found out she could start a new life as a woman not a witch. She thought Bonnie’s father and grandmother could take better care of her. Bonnie informs her that Grams is dead, and the two cry as she tells her how it happened. Abby says she thinks she can help Bonnie, even though she doesn’t have any spells.

Elena points out that Stefan doesn’t want her there only because he can’t do what he wants. He kicks over a chair, drawing out Jamie who tries to protect Elena. She tells him to leave, and Stefan grabs his throat and compels him to go. Elena hilariously says, “I don’t think you realize how bad you’ve gotten.” Lady, it is so good you were not on the Klaus and Stefan road trip. Apparently already compelled, Jamie returns and shoots Stefan. Bonnie moves to the window and Abby uses some powder to knock her out. I knew there was something fishy about her.

Damon and Alaric are so adorable together. Damon tells Alaric to continue working out, but by the way Meredith is a psycho case. Alaric is all, I’m a big boy, you don’t have to screen who I date anymore, dad. But he looks worried. To be fair, vervaining and even drawing blood from a vampire doesn’t make someone a psycho. At least not any more of a psycho than the rest of the characters.

Jamie ties up Elena and helps Abby put Bonnie in the car as Stefan suffers on the ground. Abby drives to the hybrid. When Bonnie wakes, Abby tells her the herbs temporarily muted her magic. If Bonnie doesn’t say where the coffins are, Jamie will kill himself via compulsion. Abby hands Bonnie a message on the phone saying “warn your friends.”

No problem, Abby's abandoned kids come looking for her all the time.

Elena frees herself from her ropes and interrogates Jamie about his compulsion. When she finds out his predicament and his direct order not to hurt her, she pretends her ropes are too tight, grabs his gun, and knocks him out. She then asks Stefan how she can help. He tells her to get the chips out of his chest. What is this, exes bonding through S&M? Worked for Katherine.

Damon meets Klaus in the house of witches. He is surprised to find candles all over. In fact, his surprised faces throughout this scene are precious. The witches torture Klaus in the same way they torment Damon, until Klaus threatens to kill every last one of the witches’ descendants. Damon is amused by Klaus’s pain and then disappointed in his ability to make it stop. Klaus demands that they reveal the coffins, which they do. But Damon had time to move one. Klaus threatens to rip him into a bloody mess, but Damon notes that he has the same leverage that Stefan has. (Klaus just forgot to make cute with him the way he does with Stefan.)

Increasingly sympathetic towards him, Elena continues to pull the chips out of Stefan’s chest. He notices that she’s become tougher and stronger. (In a different context, this is a strange echo of Katherine’s statement to him.) Elena says he’s not the only one who’s changed. In a softer tone, he says that’s good. She tells him that she kissed Damon, not because she feels guilty, but she felt bad he didn’t know. His almost blank face looks shattered, sad, and empty, but not angry. He just gets up and walks away. This scene was far more heartbreaking than I expected.

Tyler escapes his chains and runs after Bill. Meanwhile, Alaric confronts Meredith, who says she isn’t crazy. He tells her about Damon’s ability to take vervain since he’s been drinking it. A bloody Bill Forbes rolls into the emergency room. She tells Alaric to stick around. Meredith reveals her secret: she gives Bill vampire blood to make him heal. However will this cause a weird hybrid effect? He was just bitten by a werewolf and then injected with vampire blood. I guess not. Alaric is pleased at this discovery, but is this her only secret?

I can't believe my plan to get Elena to hate me worked!

Elena wants Stefan to say something. He apologizes for kidnapping her, admitting he went too far, and she thanks him. As Caroline said, this is way beyond apologies. Yet he says she shouldn’t lie about her whereabouts with Klaus on the loose. Going back to Damon, Elena said she didn’t mean to kiss him. He just says that she’s better than Damon, and him. Poor Stefan is almost his regular old self in this scene.

Bonnie is impressed at Abby’s dedication to Jamie, who remained relatively intact. Bonnie doesn’t trust the powerless Abby, but Abby wonders if Bonnie can help her regain her powers, which didn’t completely leave. They just drifted away. Abby doesn’t want power again, but she will do what it takes to help Bonnie.

Tyler meets Bill in the hospital. Both feel better, until Bill says Tyler will do the exact same thing tomorrow. Tyler says he can’t, but Bill says the transition has to be painless, or Tyler can’t go near Caroline. Alaric takes Meredith home and shows her his vampire hunting collection. He also shows her his ring. She “jokingly” takes it off as they make out. Elena walks in, prompting Meredith to leave and Alaric to make excuses. Elena is happy for him; she appreciates him staying, and says this is his house. He is allowed to move on.

Stefan goes home to Damon who says he only had time to remove one coffin. Stefan looks at him before punching him in the face. Damon figures out what Elena told him. He realizes Stefan doesn’t want to talk about it, but he should talk about this: Damon holds up a dagger. In his mansion, Klaus tells the hybrid he isn’t going to open the coffins just yet. The hybrid is suddenly dehearted by OH HAPPY DAY Elijah. He says, “So, Niklaus. What did I miss?” Yesssssss.

The Vampire Diaries: Our Town (Season 3, Episode 11)

It's my party, I can die if I want to ...

Damon happily showers away (he’s on a high after kissing his love) as Elena beats the tar out of a punching bag. Thank goodness this show has about one ray of happiness in every episode. Alaric walks in on Elena and says that the battery for his life-saving ring must be running low. She says she’s working out [sexual] frustration. Elena’s only family, her brother, is about to leave her, but all she can ask is if Alaric has talked to Damon.

Bonnie casts some spells to open Klaus’s caskets, but they remain shut until the witches disappear them and she hears someone. Damon and Stefan approach the house but Damon stops Stefan. Damon goes inside, and a hybrid comes out and growls at Stefan. He starts to smile, and Damon rips out its heart from behind. Stefan gives an, “I was going to do that, but thanks anyway,” look. Damon says, “Hybrids: always bringing the neighborhood down.” How can one look so adorable while casting away a heart?

More Stefan and Damon time, always good. Damon does what he does best, wail on a coffin with a shovel. He insults the witches for not being able to open the casket. He also points out that Stefan’s plan could get him and everyone else, including Damon, killed. Interesting now the shoe’s on the other foot, huh, Damon? Stefan just says, no, Klaus loves his family. (In Klaus’s special, psychotic way, of course.) Damon isn’t so sure, but Stefan says he’ll call Klaus’s bluff. Damon says the only way to call someone’s bluff is to be prepared to lose everything. Unfortunately, Stefan walks away, apparently prepared.

I'm sorry, Klaus, this is not how you win over an ex you've mistreated. Just wait till you see what I have in store for Elena tonight, and  I will show you how it's done.

At school, Elena and Bonnie prepare Caroline’s locker for her birthday. Elena tells Bonnie that Jeremy is leaving, so she can say goodbye. Bonnie tries to say goodbye. He retains his memories, but he eerily says he will go to Denver because he thinks he can have a better life there. No, they are not playing a Coldplay song (Up in Flames, no less) during a tragic Caroline and Tyler scene. They can’t do this to me. Caroline looks at Tyler, Tyler says he understands why he can’t be with her. As much as he wants to, he can’t put her first. He seems genuinely hurt by his predicament. He then gives her a bracelet. It’s too early in the episode to be on the verge of tears.

Klaus is genuinely depressed (and creepy – he wishes his dead sister “sweet dreams”). Stefan stops by. Klaus admits that he is hurt; he thought they’d “pick up where they left off” after he gave him his freedom; so much for friendship. Stefan notes that friends don’t strip friends of free will. Klaus gives him that one but assigns it to his moodiness. Stefan threatens to kill Elijah if Klaus doesn’t get rid of his mignons. Klaus threatens to kill everyone, including Damon. Stefan says go ahead. Klaus zings Stefan by saying to a hybrid he was just leaving after “failing to make his point.” Stefan then beheads the hybrid. And leaves.

Caroline goes home, but she is not alone. Lurking in the shadows is… a group of her best buds (even Matt). Elena, Bonnie, and Matt want to head to Mystic Falls to celebrate Caroline’s birthday, or what she claimed was “the best day of the year.” She says she just wants to wallow in her misery of being forever 17 before moving on and adjusting to life. Elena says she has another idea.

If you don't cut it out, Klaus, I'll kiss you.

Klaus is getting bored with his stupid hybrids. (One asks what to do with the other one’s head.) He summons Tyler and tells him to kill Caroline by biting her. Tyler gets about two inches from Klaus’s face and tries to lecture him on morality. (“What the hell is wrong with you?”) Klaus finds this all very amusing, but eventually goes for disappointment over brute force. I wonder if Stefan’s comment about free will made him realize threats can only go so far. Also, this is why Tyler should have been around when people talked about how evil and sadistic Klaus was for EPISODES. Sired or not, I don’t think he would have been this surprised.

There are so many bromantic scenes in this episode. Alaric and Damon discuss Stefan’s humanity “dimmer switch.” Alaric wonders when Damon started caring about human life. He says he has a small list. Alaric says, “Talk about a dimmer switch.” Damon’s “screw you” is followed by Alaric wondering why every council meeting has to be a town wide event.

In a bizarre but creative and touching scene, Caroline and company celebrate her “funeral.” Elena says she, and all of them, need to mourn their old lives and move on. This is particularly unsettling considering Klaus just told Tyler to murder Caroline. Bonnie uses her freakishness for good by lighting the candles with her mind.

Believe it or not, even though Damon's killed Alaric multiple times, this is the most lighthearted bromance on the show.

Alaric thinks something’s wrong with Elena (it’s Damon), and Damon is sure it’s Stefan.  Dr. Fell approaches Alaric, who lights up. She admits to knowing about vampires and the council. She also wants to ask Damon for money. Alaric says he’s loaded. Unfortunately some British guy said he’d match the money raised. Hi Klaus! Klaus is flirting outrageously with Mrs. Mayor, his sire’s mother. I guess she’s not compelled, and she certainly doesn’t know what Klaus is capable of, because she buys Klaus’s desire to protect her son and the whole town – as long as Stefan returns his family. As Klaus says, “Give peace a chance.”

At the party, Liz Forbes tells Damon she doesn’t want innocents to get caught in a pissing contest between Stefan and Klaus. Alaric steps in when a man grabs Meredith Fell’s arm. He tells her she doesn’t know what she’s dealing with, and he tells Alaric that she’s kind of a psycho case. Alaric is completely on her side. He even threatens the man. Should he be so quick?

Meanwhile, Stefan enters the party and casually grabs a knife. Damon stops him from killing a hybrid at the founder’s party. He points out that Klaus might make more hybrids from Elena’s blood. He also tells Stefan his humanity switch and brain are fried. Stefan just responds to Damon’s pleas for intelligence and caution (I know, this is a changed Damon) with the statement that you just have to be a better villain to beat the villain. Damon must be feeling such karma right now.

Promoting rationality... what is the world coming to.

Caroline drunk texts Tyler. Elena tsk tsks this, but Bonnie says that Elena can’t control everyone. She shouldn’t have compelled Jeremy to leave. Awkard. But Bonnie has a point. Bonnie apologizes but doesn’t back down. She decides to leave and sleep it off. Tyler crashes the party and asks to speak to Caroline outside. Matt says he wishes for his friends who are stuck with the supernatural to be happy. Elena bristles at the thought of being stuck. She knows she shouldn’t have controlled Jeremy’s mind, but she can’t lose anyone else.

I can’t take any more Caroline/Tyler scenes. Tyler says he loves her and that Klaus can’t control him when it comes to her. She says maybe they have to move on, but Tyler says he’s not going to. They make out, and Tyler nips her. She starts to bleed and freak out. Tyler seems surprised; he tries to help, but she says to get away. He does. She disappears as well. Elena shares a flirtatious moment with Matt, but Stefan knocks him out and grabs Elena. He calls Damon from the car and asks what Klaus will do if he can’t make any more hybrids.

Damon gets close to Klaus and tells him that Stefan is crazy and he just kidnapped Elena. Klaus thinks he will never kill her, no matter what. (“That kind of love never dies.”) Damon says he knows his brother better than anyone, and he is worried. Stefan tells Elena about Klaus’s coffins. He fees her his blood, calls Klaus, and says he will drive the car off the bridge to turn her into a vampire. Something that is so awful about this is the fact that this is the very bridge where Elena’s parents died, and Elena almost died – in a car crash. What is wrong with you Stefan? Klaus finally concedes to send his hybrids away, and Stefan finally stops the car, even a few seconds after Klaus agrees. Poor Elena is horrified beyond words.

"Where's my car?" (Is it impressive that Matt wakes up from being knocked out, shrugs it off, wanders around, finds Caroline, and carries her back home?)

They have the bad boyfriend “get back in the car” conversation. What a heartrending episode. Elena points out that Stefan knew her parents died there. He says her fear made Klaus believe he would really kill her. Elena just asks what if he hadn’t. Stefan makes all sorts of justifications; he can destroy Klaus this way, that’s all he has left, he lost Elena the moment he left town. Most of all, he doesn’t care what she thinks, but his voice cracks. She figures this is a way to make her hate him.* He drives away, leaving her alone and in shock.

*I read an interview with Kevin Williamson which indicated that this is in character with Stefan, the vampire who is so remorseful/self-loathing he drank animal blood for years and can’t give into his animalistic nature even a bit.

Somehow, Matt finds a hallucinating Caroline and takes her home. Klaus shows up at Liz’s doorstep and pretends to care about Caroline’s life. Matt doesn’t want to let him in, but Liz agrees to support him. Darn, Klaus is really playing it smart. Klaus goes into Caroline’s bedroom. She asks if he is going to kill her. Klaus asks if she thinks he would do something so horrible as kill her on her birthday. She says yes. Is it just me, or is this scene really erotic? And even romantic? He reveals her wound, touches her bracelet, and says he loves birthdays. She asks if he’s “a billion or something.” Klaus says he will let you die if she wants – he’s been in the same position -- but there is a whole world out there full of art, and great cities, and music. He touches her bracelet as he describes “genuine beauty” and says she “can have all of it.” She looks confused but says she doesn’t want to die. She drinks from his arm.

Damon walks Elena home and asks if she’ll be okay. But he defends Stefan by saying that he won this round against Klaus. She says he can’t kiss her again, it isn’t right. He says it’s right, just not right now. She closes the door and looks at him, perhaps thinking about the fact that it might be right, and the fact that part of him is still a dangerous animal.

4ever alone. Literally 4ever.

Caroline wakes up, healed, and with a present from Klaus. Does he actually care about her? Or is he just trying to use her? Whatever the case, his emotions only go so far. Please don’t go out with this creepy man, Caroline. He just wants a replacement Stefan. This episode has been an emotional roller coaster. At the bridge, Elena and Matt share a nice moment. She says she has been trying to hold onto the girl who should have died, and she feels as though she has disappointed her and her parents. Matt assures her that this isn’t true; she was a wonderful girlfriend and is an amazing friend. He holds a “funeral” for the old Elena, because “it’s okay to let her go.”

Meredith is pleased to find Alaric drinking in the bar after Jeremy left, bidden a tearful goodbye by Elena and Bonnie. She tells him to buy her a beer. Meanwhile, Liz calls Damon to a scene of an actual murder (she’s practically laughing, a non-supernatural murder, unthinkable). It’s the man Meredith was talking to before. Oh dear. Is this lady trouble?

The Vampire Diaries: The New Deal (Season 3, Episode 10)

"I need you so much closer..."

Bonnie walks around a creepy, ghost-y mansion. She enters the basement and finds five coffins, presumably Klaus’s family. Yet when she opens one, she finds Klaus inside, peacefully sleeping in a suit. He has a familiar piece of jewelry on his hand. Bonnie reaches for it, but whips around at the sound of a creaking coffin lid. This jerks her out of her slumber, and she sits up in her own bed.

Elena jogs past humongous houses and stops to catch a breath and check her time. She sees a man jogging behind her. She begins to run again, picking up speed in order to get away from him. Elena pauses again, only to bump into the same man. He smiles and apologizes before running off.

At the Mystic Grill, Elena and Bonnie commiserate about going insane. As far as they know, Klaus is still out there, but he hasn’t sought revenge. Bonnie keeps having the same dream about Klaus and the coffins, but she inexplicably attributes this more to stress than to premonitions, even though she is a witch. Elena says they haven’t heard from Stefan after he betrayed them all and is no longer the man they knew. Bonnie looks skeptical. (Why wouldn’t she be, considering Elena accepted Damon’s bad side for so long, but now cannot tolerate Stefan’s?)

Damon is drinking his pains away (aka the whole bar), and for once Alaric is putting his job above boozing with Damon. He has been waiting for Jeremy because he plagiarized his midterm. The barmaid tells him that Jeremy was fired last week.

I can only go out with you if I know you will become a vampire and die.

Jeremy is drinking and shooting things with Tyler, who is once again in jerk mode. Sigh. They are doing this because their girlfriends dumped them. (I might add the ladies had legitimate reasons to do this.) Tyler tells Jeremy to try to shoot him with a crossbow because hybrids are harder to kill than vampires and werewolves. Because Jeremy’s life is nuts, he tries to shoot his friend, who catches the arrow in the air, drunk and all.

Elena is furious at and worried about Jeremy. Damon points out that getting fired from the Grill is not a tragedy, and being moody is hardly uncommon for teenagers. He also says that Jeremy has one woman he cares about: Elena. She asks about his mental health and they flirt a bit. Then, who should show up but Mr. Klaus. He says he’s just having a drink with his friend Tony, the man who ran into Elena. Klaus says he won’t hurt them if they tell him where Stefan is; he stole from Klaus. Elena says this sounds like a Klaus and Stefan problem. (Even Elena knows about their tumultuous relationship.) Klaus laughs and says this is him broadening the scope. Also, Klaus is better at darts than drunk Damon.

Bonnie goes to the mansion and into its basement, as she did in her dream. Instead of coffins, she finds Stefan. He tells her to help him hide Klaus’s one weakness: his family.

Alaric and Elena cook dinner. Jeremy arrives but says he’s going to hang out with Tyler. The others disapprove, but he points out that Elena is a complete hypocrite when it comes to hanging out with dangerous individuals. Elena and Alaric don’t care if Tyler can hear them, because they point out that he is dangerous due to being sired by Klaus. Jeremy is either compelled or the most stupid person on the planet because he invites Tyler into the house.

If I can't have one Salvatore, I'll have the other.

Klaus visits Damon who is agreeable to Klaus’s come-ons. Klaus jabs Damon about plotting against him, Stefan’s betrayal, and Rebekah’s whereabouts. Damon points out that Rebekah betrayed Klaus, who has no mirth in his eyes even as he smiles. Damon wisely offers him a drink.

Tyler explains that being sired is totally different from being compelled. He has complete faith in Klaus, but he also has free will. Jeremy nods approvingly until Tyler admits that he would rip out his own heart if Klaus told him to. Tyler says Klaus would never do that, and that everyone, including Caroline, is thinking too much. Perhaps it is dawning on Jeremy that he is the stupidest kid alive.

Damon and Klaus have an interesting dynamic. Klaus says they have a lot in common. Damon asks if it’s a mutual hatred for Stefan, the buzzkill. Klaus explains that Stefan stole his family. Damon says he doesn’t work for Klaus, who retorts that Damon and company only seem to respond to violence. Klaus calls someone and tells him to do that thing he told him. Unfortunately, that doesn’t sound very threatening.

Tyler leaves, Alaric and Elena discuss his psychology, and Alaric hilariously goes on in a nerdy fashion about Tyler not being aware of his psychosis. When they turn around, only Jeremy’s ring is to be found. Jeremy is outside, standing in the middle of the road. Alaric pushes Jeremy out of the way and is smashed by the car. Perhaps he won’t die if a supernatural creature is driving the car. I honestly don’t care how this stuff works. Luckily Alaric will probably live, no thanks to that jerk Tony. Jeremy tells Elena that Klaus called him.

Poor Jeremy is a terrible shot. Good for me, bad for him.

Klaus is setting up shop with his hybrids. Tyler shows up and Klaus gayly calls him the man of the hour. Tyler is confused as to why Klaus tried to kill Jeremy, Alaric, or anyone. Klaus sighs and explains that this is what they do to get what they want. You can see him thinking, “Stefan all over again, both more pliable and stupid.”

Elena explains to Jeremy that Tyler got him off of vervain. Damon tells Elena that Stefan stole coffined family members. She wants to wake Rebekah, who is too dangerous, according to Damon. Jeremy’s IQ skyrockets when he suggests they all pack their bags, stop worrying about school, and leave Mystic Falls. He emphatically states that none of them are going to get out of this town alive. Jeremy has gone from sub-moron to the smartest person in Mystic Falls. Still not very smart, but a complete genius in comparison to his company. Elena calls Bonnie and asks her to find Stefan and the coffins. Bonnie tells her to come to the magical mansion to find him.

The witches are still angry at Damon, so he has to wait outside. (Why do they like Stefan, who was even more sadistic?) Stefan tells Elena to go away and stop talking. She complains to him about Jeremy almost getting killed, but Stefan doesn’t react. He says he’s not giving Klaus anything and Jeremy isn’t his problem. She slaps him and tells him to go to hell. He’s getting a taste of Damon’s world.

Damon sends Elena off to deal with her brother and says he will brave the witches and burning sunlight to talk with his brother. Stefan responds to Damon’s approach by saying “so let’s talk.” He seriously worked for the mafia. Damon notes that everything is difficult with Stefan before tackling him, dragging him outside, and stabbing him in the stomach with a branch. Stefan explains that he was abused by Klaus, so he is taking everything away from Klaus in return. He saved Klaus to save Damon, who is appalled and tells him to stop saving him.

I shoot friends with crossbows all the time.

Jeremy tries to shoot an offended Tyler with a crossbow. Tyler explains that he didn’t think Klaus would try to kill Jeremy. He says his focus is his family, but he also says that Klaus isn’t done with Jeremy. Jeremy says to think about the fact that Klaus kills people left and right. As he walks away Tyler looks regretful, but all he can say is “stay inside.”

Elena asks when Alaric returned to the land of the living, and Alaric nonchalantly responds “just a few minutes ago.” Somehow, Klaus is able to get around the ring thing – maybe it was being hit by a car instead of being directly attacked – because Alaric starts coughing up blood. Paramedics arrive but so does Tony, who tells them to leave. He says he can save Alaric with his blood if Elena invites him in. Tony is shot in the back by Jeremy who grabs a cleaver and chops his head off. Jeremy has gone from his lowest moment to his most insanely awesome moment. Elena is understandably traumatized by the sight of her baby brother decapitating someone.

Damon interrogates Stefan about why he saved him. Stefan evades him, and Damon says, “Deflection: that’s not going to work on me, I invented that.” I love their conversations. Stefan thinks there is another way to kill Klaus. Damon says he wants in. Damon tells Stefan to look at his life choices: he’s been hiding out in a “haunted house.” Damon notes that they will have to be “cutthroat and devious,” and he’s so much better at that than Stefan. They agree that Elena will stay out of this. Stefan invites Damon into the haunted house and shows him the coffins – the witches are agreeing to hide them.

Alaric has recovered. He shares sexual tension with an astounded nurse. He says his health is due to both a guardian angel and selling his soul to the devil.

As good as Damon at invading personal space.

Klaus pushes past Elena, so she can show him Rebekah’s dead body. He shows how highly he thinks of Jeremy by saying, “my sister’s life for your brother’s, yeah, I’d say that is a deal.” He can tell Elena is lying about not knowing where Stefan is. Klaus threatens more of her loved ones, but Elena points out that Klaus is the one who turned Stefan into a heartless monster, so he’s Klaus’s problem now. (Does she ship them?) She also points out that Rebekah knows Klaus killed their mother. Klaus looks stricken, and Elena awesomely tells Klaus, the Klaus, to see himself out.

So Damon’s blood helped Alaric recover. Romantic. Alaric offers an ear to Jeremy, who says his life sucks, but murdering a hybrid is a typical Sunday.

Elena frets about washing blood off the porch, her brother, and Stefan. She says she made a deal with Klaus and gave him Rebekah, but she’s confident they won’t kill her. Then she and Damon share a romantic moment, and Damon tells her everything will be okay, twice.

In a poignant scene, Klaus talks to an unconscious Rebekah about how they’ve waited 1,000 years and he hoped he’d share this with her. But as she starts to move and gain color, he stabs her again. His eyes well up.

Tony the powerful hybrid, killed by a 16 year old human.

With input from Alaric and Elena, Damon compels Jeremy to leave Mystic Falls and never look back. This is so sad. The siblings are separating. They’re all they have.

Bonnie tells Stefan the coffins are probably shut with a spell. She approaches the one she dreamt about and says opening this is probably their answer.

Elena worries more about Jeremy, and Damon continues to tell her things will be okay – estranged is better than dead. She thanks him for everything. As they move in closer, Damon’s conscience prompts him to tell Elena that Stefan saved Klaus to save Damon. Elena gets flustered, asking what that means. Damon says that he was an idiot because he thought for once he didn’t have to feel guilty about what he wanted. He starts to walk away but soon turns back and says screw it, he’s going to do something to feel guilty about. They share a beautiful, sexy kiss, and he wishes her goodnight.