 |
| I did not look like this in high school. |
Elena wakes up early after a very bad day. She covers up
the bite marks on her neck from Stefan and/or Rebekah before following Alaric
outside. Alaric trains Elena, though she doesn’t possess his sexy muscles (or
tattoo). Why they are training against Stefan now, after Damon and literally
dozens of vampires terrorized her and everyone else, is beyond me, but they
both look pretty badass. And Alaric sweetly says Elena is the strongest person
he knows because she got out of bed that morning, after all she’d been through.
Elena, Caroline, and Bonnie walk sexily into the first
day of school. Elena dons the accessory of many a Damon girlfriend: the scarf.
They complain about their lives, but Caroline insists they move forward. Elena says
she has to put her past behind her. Her “boyfriend” Stefan is playing some form
of twister that involves many dead girls. Damon disapproves of the mess.
Rebekah moves in without either Damon or Stefan’s approval. Stefan doesn’t like
her now for some reason, and Damon doesn’t know who she is.
Bonnie’s a little hard on Jeremy about his ability to see
dead ex-girlfriends. Matt is able to see his dead sister, so he spends his
morning talking to himself or rather his sister Vicki. Vicki dubiously says again
there’s a way to bring her back. Matt misses her. He has no parents. His ex is
dating a vampire. And now he seems crazy. An unnaturally perky Tyler interrupts
him. Far away in a tomb, Katherine, meanwhile, is having no luck in reviving
the vampire Michael. Damon calls her and tells her to step on it. She spots a
mourner at the graveyard and decides to give it another shot.
 |
| Stefan's most fiendish act: making fun of how slow Elena is. |
Damon refers to Rebekah as Barbie-Klaus and sweetly makes
fun of Stefan’s broody persona instead of telling Elena who Stefan is killing.
Tyler shows up and smooches Caroline in front of Elena. Tyler and Caroline get
into a lovers quarrel because Tyler says that Rebekah is hooking him up with
blood bags. He thinks it’s awesome that he is Klaus’s first successful
hybrid! In a similar fashion to the
dance Elena and Stefan did outside the bathroom in the pilot episode (as well
as a “coed” bathroom scene), Elena runs into Stefan. He says he’ll protect her
and grabs her. Alaric tells him to stop, but Stefan shoves Alaric, his history
teacher, attracting attention. Stefan notes that he doesn’t want to be a senior
for the 100th time, but this is his job. He’s a real douche.
Everyone here is crazy, let’s face it. Elena tells Alaric
that they have to do something about Stefan. Caroline is surprised to see
Stefan and then Rebekah waltzes into class. So three of these students are
vampires, one of whom is an original vampire, and one is also a werewolf.
Alaric just wants to talk about Native Americans. Outside, Jeremy interrupts
Matt’s tete-a-tete with Vicki. Jeremy pretends not to see her, but he
immediately consults Anna. Vicki cites a ritual that could bring her back
(hopefully not involving a dead relative). Vicki and Anna explain that she can
come back as a ghost if the witch’s power from the other side pushes her
through. Anna is worried. Matt looks concerned but wants to he help.
Chaos on the sports field! Rebekah moves in on Caroline’s
territory (after someone asks what happened to dead Dana) by trying out for the
cheerleading squad and saying she’s after Tyler. Isn’t he kind of her child? Or
great-etc. grandchild? She shows off her moves. Tyler compels the coach to let
them get drunk at the bonfire party. He tells Caroline to chillax because Klaus
gave him this gift. On the tracks, Stefan annoys Elena, pushing over a guy who
bumps into her. Elena is still convinced he isn’t Stefan, who refers to her as
a human blood bag… “no offense.” He is acting a bit like Tyler used to.
 |
| Stop trying to protect me! You are so evil! |
Elena lifts weights. Damon asks her if she is going to
bench press a vampire and calls her Buffy. Elena wants to lock up Stefan for
now, but Damon isn’t hopeful. Still, he gives her a very sexy lesson in how to
kill a vampire. He has her feel his sternum, and he touches her spine under her
shirt. Then, they almost kiss. He assures her that no one, including Stefan, is
going to hurt her. Bonfire redux: a powwow meets to stop Stefan. Damon just
wants to use Bonnie (smart man), but Elena is worried that Stefan will hurt
her. (Wouldn’t Stefan suspect something? He is a horrible bodyguard.) Elena
tells Damon to distract Rebekah with his charm. Damon is the voice of reason
here. He also is the first to notice that Tyler is very obviously a Klaus fan.
The solution: Caroline needs to get a new boyfriend.
Elena downs a beer in front of Stefan and Rebekah. Stefan
tells her she’s a lightweight. Rebekah likes Elena’s snark when she calls him a
blood addict. Elena gets drunk and actually smiles at a guy drinking from a
keg. She and Stefan raise their eyebrows and glasses at one another. Damon shows
Rebekah how to eat a marshmallow in a hot way. Elena spots them and looks
jealous. Stefan pulls a Damon by invading her bubble and whispering in her ear.
Stefan actually points out that she’s jealous. He doesn’t seem to give a crap,
even though she contradicts him.
Even though Damon says he can be mean if Rebekah wants
him to, she knows he’s distracting her and stabs him in the stomach with her
marshmallow stick. Inside, Tyler wakes up after being vervained. Caroline gives
him a talking to. She said he’s trying to please Klaus. Tyler says he’s no
one’s pet (hah). Caroline says he’s acting like the old Tyler. Oh snap, she
went there! He says he’ll try not to be his enhanced bad self because he likes
Caroline so much. He is looking very attractive. They make out. But… is he
sincere? Can he “be careful?”
 |
| Ninja position. (What are they looking at? Wasn't Elena's biggest problem at this point her drunk self?) |
Elena drunkenly teases Stefan (who is acting like his old
self – he wants her to be careful and go home) until she falls from the top of
the bleachers. He catches her, and they share a moment. Is there something
still there in him, in spite of it all? Alaric shoots Stefan with vervain, but
observes that Elena is underage and “not sober.” Elsewhere, Matt does some sort
of blood ritual; there are candles, there is smoke, and he and Vicki embrace –
he can feel her. Bonnie’s just mad Jeremy’s talking to Anna. Vicki reveals that
she made a deal with the witch to kill Elena so Klaus can’t make any more
hybrids. She knocks out Matt and leaves.
Matt confesses this to Bonnie, who takes care of business
as Vicki sets the car with Elena and Stefan on fire. She sits in the car and
prevents Elena from leaving. How does Stefan wake up? He must not have been too
vervained. Bad plan, you two. Stefan could have woken up and murdered Alaric
while he was driving. Vicki takes way too long to kill Elena. To be fair, Vicki
did know her. Bonnie manages to send Vicki back as Stefan kicks out the back of
the car. Elena is sure to save Stefan, and Elena, Alaric, and Stefan get out
before the car blows. Matt says goodbye because he can’t let Vicki hurt anyone.
No one can win on this show.
Damon applies first aid to Elena. She almost admits that
she was jealous, and Damon admits that he was totally faking it with Rebekah.
Elena smiles at him. Alaric interrupts them. Damon is still trying to get back
into his good graces. Others making up include Tyler and Caroline who dress
after having amazing sex in the middle of a living room. Correction: Tyler is
only wearing a towel. Damn. Unfortunately, Rebekah comes in and sexily offers
him a bitten and bleeding girl. Tyler tries to resist, but Rebekah mentions
Klaus and bites into the girl again. Tyler rushes over and drinks.
 |
| Danger, danger: high voltage! (When we touch, when we kiss.) |
Michael had refused to drink, but Katherine eventually
wakes him with blood. Michael, apparently a self-hating vampire, tells her to
get the body away from her. She says he’s not so scary. He apologizes in his
polite British accent for his outburst. He says he hasn’t had human blood in
years because he doesn’t feast on living things, but he can and will kill
Klaus. A remarkably careless Katherine frees him from his chains, and Michael
shows what kind of blood he does drink: VAMPIRE BLOOD. Can a vampire survive on
that, or is he just special?
For some reason, Bonnie is ignoring Jeremy’s calls. At
the Gilbert house, Jeremy admits that he can’t stop thinking about Anna, and
she can’t stop thinking about him. They touch hands and realize that they can
feel one another. Ghost sex ensues… or hand holding, whichever you want to
imagine.
Elena wants Alaric to befriend Damon again. Stefan
weirdly thanks them for saving him. Elena confesses that she still has hope.
Stefan says she is extremely pathetic. She disagrees and claims to be strong
before stabbing him in the gut with wooden stakes. She’s a lot harder on Stefan
than she was on Damon, I guess because she loved Stefan. After they leave, Damon
thinks Stefan is running around knocking over vases. Someone gives Damon a good
punch, and who is it? None other than MASON LOCKWOOD. So are a bunch of ghosts
making their way over to Mystic Falls? The residents are in huge trouble.
Someone dies every day there.
