The Vampire Diaries: The Reckoning (Season 2, Episode 5)

Warning: episode more badass and batshit than stills would have you believe.

Shots of a darkened school are edited to the sound of a clinking machine. Matt is working out all by his lonesome. He hears and sees something. After wandering around, he steps on a mousetrap, setting off a series of mousetraps. Surprise! It’s his friends, forced into senior prank night by the spirited vampire Caroline. Her werewolf boyfriend Tyler is totally on her side, the witch Bonnie and human Elena are less enthusiastic, and Matt echoes my sentiments by stating that he is surprised that anyone cares about senior prank night after they’ve been nearly killed countless times by supernatural creatures. Elena leaves to glue history teacher and vampire hunter Alaric’s desk shut. Caroline shouts, “I love you!” and Tyler instructs a group of boys to join him. Elena smiles for once, until she rounds a corner and comes face to face with the most supernatural and evil one of all: Klaus. She tries to run, but why even bother? He simply notes, “You were supposed to be dead.”

Cue awesome music. Vampire Damon is driving vampire Katherine along an open road. He gets annoyed and tells her to stop being cute. She awesomely replies, “Not possible.” Damon notes that he and Mystic Falls/Elena are on a break. Katherine makes her move, smooching Damon while he’s driving. Damon then revels in shoving her away and saying that she doesn’t do it for him anymore. He eventually pulls over and chucks the keys in the bushes, demanding that Katherine fill him in. She pulls out Elena’s necklace, stating that Klaus wants it. She also says that she found out something even better. Katherine opens the trunk to reveal an unconscious Jeremy, Elena’s ghost-seeing brother. Damon’s hilarious reaction is a deadpan, “Jeremy? Really?” but he looks concerned.

Vampire Stefan wakes up. Original vampire/werewolf Klaus has been breaking his neck all day. Klaus’s original vampire sister Rebekah says that she knows the doppelganger is still alive and hopes for her death. Stefan attacks her. Rebekah says, “consider me jealous” as she beats down Stefan. Playing the siblings was a dangerous game, but what else could Stefan do? Inside, Klaus drags Elena through the corridors saying that he only wanted to be a hybrid to make more hybrids. Elena tells him to kill her already, but he says he wants to be certain of something, and he has ways of making her suffer. Because she hasn’t suffered enough in her life. Klaus waltzes into a gym filled with pranking seniors and tells them they’re busted. Remarkably obedient, they all leave, except for Dana and another student. Klaus recognizes them. He compels Dana to lift her foot up and the boy to beat her to death if she drops it. Elena gets points for scolding Klaus: “You don’t have to hurt anybody.” But this is Klaus, “Of course, I do, love.”

We be pranking.

Tyler and Caroline are still the best. Caroline worries about Matt, Tyler says he loves how big her heart is and continues to kiss her, even as he ponders whether his friend Matt has anyone to talk with. He also says he is happy. So of course Rebekah interrupts them and agrees with me by calling them adorable. She calls out Tyler as a werewolf. Caroline steps in to protect him, but Rebekah bares her fangs and strikes. (Is Tyler going to be the second hybrid? Is he going to be the test?)

Matt and Bonnie share a sweet moment. It is hysterical that Matt thinks he actually has to explain why he isn’t into senior prank night. Bonnie and he discuss their weird lives and reveal that they both know that Vicki is a ghost. In a tense scene (hasn’t he seen any horror movies?), Matt goes into a bathroom alone, systematically opening and closing doors. The door on a stall on which “RIP Vicki Donavon” is written opens by itself. We see a glimpse of Vicki saying, “I’m here, Matt. I can help.” But Matt does not seem to hear her.

Klaus is still making sure Dana doesn’t drop her foot. The other boy watches dispassionately. Klaus tells Elena that Stefan is on a time out (hah). Bonnie and Matt stumble in. Klaus nonchalantly comments that he wondered when she’d turn up. Matt’s expression says, “Who the eff is this guy?” Klaus nags at Bonnie, and Rebekah drags Tyler in. Klaus introduces her as a mean one; she tells him not to be an arse. Klaus feeds Tyler his blood, cracks his neck, and demands that Bonnie help Tyler. Because either he will die a horrible death or he will become a hybrid. D: Either of those options is a huge game-changer. Klaus is all lulz.

Why were they sitting there with the lights out?

Again, the dialog is on fire this episode. Katherine says one can kill Klaus so he is for realz dead. Damon says Katherine is more likely a desperate, lying drunk. Apparently Pearl (whom Damon vividly remembers) told Anna how to kill Klaus, but she wouldn’t tell Katherine. Jeremy wakes up and connects the dots. Katherine and Damon are bored waiting for Anna’s ghost to appear. She finally does, but she doesn’t want to help the two, and who can blame her? At Kat’s advising, Damon roughs up Jeremy. Immediately Anna says that they are looking for Michael, a vampire who hunts vampires. Yet he would kill all of them if they woke him.

This music is scary! Outside, Stefan awakens, again, and pulls a crowbar out of his torso. In the gym, Elena explains to Matt that Tyler isn’t really dead, at least not for now. Klaus latches onto Elena and invades her bubble. Rebekah snipes that she isn’t as pretty as the original doppelganger before sauntering off in saucy high heels, dragging Tyler’s body behind her. Stefan lies by approaching Klaus and saying that Elena means nothing to him; he will do what Klaus wants. Elena says no, but Klaus backhands her. Klaus tells Stefan to kill the two students. OF COURSE, Stefan attacks Klaus. Stefan, you suck at this double dealing stuff. But again, what else can he do? Klaus has the same attitude; he doesn’t believe Stefan’s promises. Trouble in paradise! Klaus mentions their beautiful summer together and compels Stefan to stop fighting. Stefan pleads with him. Klaus says all he wanted was his allegiance, but he is being forced to compel Stefan to do whatever he says. Elena’s all, “What?” Klaus says, “Now kill them. RIPPAH.” And Stefan kills Dana.

I’m afraid I like the vain Rebekah. She tells Caroline that Tyler is dead-ish but will become a hybrid, as she browses through Caroline’s phone photos. She cringes at one of Elena and Stefan until she realizes Elena is wearing her necklace. Elena, meanwhile, watches Stefan feed. Klaus tries to convince her that this is who Stefan is. Klaus then compels Stefan to eat Elena if Bonnie doesn’t help him in 20 minutes. Rebekah barges in and almost kills Elena, revealing that she had her necklace. Klaus isn’t too surprised that “Katerina” now has it. You in danger, girl.

Power team! Or not?

Bonnie and Matt have a revelation: if Bonnie can contact Jeremy, maybe she can reach the dead witches. Matt finds his clothes scattered about and his keys at the bottom of a pool. Vicki still can’t reach him, so she kicks his shoe in the water and texts him. Matt tells Bonnie that Vicki might be able to help, but Bonnie says Jeremy is the solution. I love that Matt is helping, but then he says: bring me back from the dead, so I can see ghosts, too. No magic necessary, only CPR. GASP! I don’t want to watch Matt drown! Matt grabs something heavy and jumps in the pool. Bonnie runs her ass off and pulls Matt out of the pool. Who directed this crazy episode?

In a really intense scene, Stefan freaks out, Mystic Falls style. He is sarcastic with Elena while explaining that as a ripper, when humans speak, all he hears are beating hearts. The more he gets, the more he wants. O_O She says that Caroline’s dad could somehow not be compelled, and Stefan at least owes her his love. She really stands up to him in spite of his psychosis. He admits that her love has kept him holding on, but he’s almost certain he won’t be able to hold on anymore if he bites her. And this is not Edward Cullen style concern here. This is, “If I get anywhere near you, if I get a taste of your blood, YOU ARE DEAD.”

Tyler gasps to life. Rebekah plays with Caroline’s phone and checks Klaus’s timer. They explain to Tyler his predicament. Near the pool, I’m liking Bonnie and Matt’s scenes together. She desperately tries to resuscitate him, while he receives a message from Vicki. SUCCESS! He coughs up water and awakens.

Bonnie threatens to kill Matt (again), but Matt says that Vicki’s message is that the doppelganger has to be dead for the hybrids to live. Klaus hears them; he thinks Tyler won’t die, since he chooses hybrids over doppelgangers every time. Damn, why are Rebekah and Klaus so funny?

Sweat, pool water, and Bonnie's saliva, all in one episode.

Time is up. Elena tells Stefan she loves him. Stefan holds off as long as possible and orders Elena to run, in spite of her danger. Stefan hilariously slows himself down by running into lockers. Unfortunately, Elena runs right into Klaus, who holds her close in the darkness and smiles as he says quietly, “We’ve got to stop meeting like this.” Stefan breaks a broom and stabs himself. Klaus is amused by the one thing stronger than his desire for blood: his love for Elena. Klaus and Stefan have a lovers’ brawl. Klaus demands that Stefan turn it off. It seems as though Klaus only wants to use compulsion as a last option, which he finally does. This episode is killing me. Stefan gets all veiny and smiley, and when he’s ordered to, he bites Elena. Damn.

I never would have guessed Tyler would become the first hybrid. Klaus somehow intuits that they should NOT kill the doppelganger. On the contrary, they should use her blood to turn the werewolves. Klaus gives Tyler Elena’s blood. He drinks it, rolls around, and reveals a face that looks part werewolf, part vampire. Elena wakes up in a hospital with an eerily friendly nurse. Compulsion alert! Elena is attached to blood bags. It appears as though Klaus is COLLECTING HER BLOOD.

Jeremy calls Damon a dick for possibly giving him a concussion, and Damon has to use his adult voice to get his phone back from Katherine. He sees Bonnie’s texts about Klaus and decides to head back. Katherine thinks they should find Michael and the old Damon wouldn’t have been so dumb – for HER, as Damon points out. Back at the Falls, Klaus tells Rebekah he knew to do the opposite of whatever the original witch said because she hated him. The big trick on him: killing the doppelganger turns him into a werewolf, the doppelganger’s live blood creates hybrids. Unfortunately, the gang totally helped him out. He lets it slip that he is creating hybrids to not be alone for all eternity. Rebekah finds it kind of lame. Damon shows up. Klaus humorously says that he promised not to kill Damon, and unlike Stefan he keeps his word. However, Stefan probably doesn’t care now. Damon pulls out the Michael card. Klaus looks distraught, chucks Damon against a car, and vanishes.

Mousetraps hurt worse than death!

Klaus had planned to leave with Tyler and Elena, but Damon finds her in the hospital. A horrified Damon “unplugs” her and carries her away. At school, Tyler and Caroline walk hand in hand. Tyler ominously says that he is doing “great.” He says it is an amazing rush, but Caroline looks concerned. In the locker room, Bonnie chastises Matt for what he did, hoping that he will stay out of their affairs. I still like their camaraderie. She leaves. Vicki visits. She and Matt have a tearful reunion.

I may or may not be crying. Damon comforts Elena. Her trauma is beyond measure. She asks where Damon was. Normally I would think, Elena, you expect him to be with you at all times? But after what she’s been through, I don’t blame her in the least. Damon offers her bourbon and compulsion, but she refuses the latter. He says that he will never leave. She cries over Stefan. You can see that she is truly turning to Damon now. Holy eff Stefan is there. Klaus told him to keep an eye on Elena, apparently since he didn’t take her with him. Elena is aghast. Stefan’s all, I’m stickin around yo. And I’m Damon-y now. Creepy.

Somewhere unknown: Katherine and Jeremy find a tomb. Katherine busts in and opens his tomb. There is Michael’s zombified corpse, wrapped in chains. His eyes pop open.

Another day, another dead friend. No big deal.