The Vampire Diaries: Bringing Out the Dead (Season 3, Episode 13)

I hate you, but I love you.

Elijah is none too happy to wake from death and find his family members comatose. He attacks Klaus, and Klaus puts him in his place before saying that he will reveal secrets about their mother’s death. He says Elijah must stand by him, so he can unite his family—after he retrieves the final coffin and destroys Stefan.  Klaus and Elijah also make a reference to Kol (dead one century) and Finn (dead nine centuries, interesting); apparently Elijah thinks Kol would be less forgiving than he.

Elena teases Alaric about his hangover, as if this is uncommon. He admits to drunk dialing Meredith his crush at two in the morning. Elena just smiles and shakes her head at her alcoholic history professor/guardian. She steps out to meet Sheriff Forbes. Sheriff says that they are about to have an unconventional conversation (more unconventional than hunting supernatural creatures?), and she decides to say this outside in broad daylight. The murder weapon found in the medical examiner belonged to Elena’s parents and has only Elena’s fingerprints.

Damon finds it funny that Elena is a prime suspect. He is convinced it’s Meredith, which Alaric and Elena refuse to believe. Elena’s confidence comes from the fact that Alaric has to luck out at least once when it comes to romance. Alaric thinks it’s Klaus. Elena suggests Stefan. I love how they come to realize how long the list of suspects is. Damon says it almost makes him miss bunny snacking Stefan, but he has to go have tea with a friend. This means suggestive innuendo between Elijah and Damon. Damon calls Elijah his favorite Original and says he cleans up nice. He also signed his letter to Elijah XOXO. They begin to discuss Klaus’s destruction and the magical coffin.

Now I have to make up for months of not choking people.

Stefan leads the Bennetts into the cave that blocks entrance from vampires. He stops at the mouth and is rather rude to Abby (understandably considering their past, but these folks forgive anything). He insists she digs deep for magic so she and Bonnie can open the coffin. Stefan also says something about making choices and taking the consequences, because they chose to follow Stefan there, but obviously he is referring to his own issues. Elena is there when Stefan leaves, and she asks if he killed the medical examiner. Stefan is ridiculously insulted, asking if Elena asked Damon the same question. Sorry, dude, you have been sucking girls dry in the not so distant past, and even more recently you threatened to kill your ex-girlfriend.

Caroline tries to pick up her father from the hospital, but he isn’t there. Meredith says he was furious that she used vampire blood to heal him. Caroline is remarkably forgiving, and Meredith points out it must be hard to have a father to hate you for what you can’t change about yourself. But Meredith says she doesn’t expose vampires. (Vampire council once again = FAIL.) Also, Meredith suspiciously got no sleep last night. Elena is also there to check out Meredith. Caroline calls her dad, but her vampire ears hear his phone ringing. She opens and door and walks into a darkened room to find him slumped on the floor, stabbed in the stomach. Caroline pulls the knife out of her father, crying, “Don’t be dead.” As soon as Elena points out that he has vampire blood in his system, Bill snaps to life—a vampire. Such irony.

Damon and Stefan scenes are always good. Damon instructs Stefan to get dressed because they are going on a double date with Elijah and Klaus. Too bad Stefan gets dressed, but he doesn’t trust Elijah who betrayed them last time. Damon says Stefan’s as trustworthy as Elijah, Stefan throws that at Damon since he kissed Elena, and Damon says that he wouldn’t have kissed Elena if it weren’t for Klaus’s shenanigans.

Sometimes it seems that incest is as much a taboo to a vampire as murder.

Caroline and Elena are horrified to learn that Bill is prepared to die rather than turn into a vampire. Duh. He hates vampires. He also says he didn’t see who killed him. At the Gilbert home, Alaric compiles his massive vampire killing collection from around the far corners of the earth. He comes to the conclusion that Meredith must be guilty, since she was around both of the offending weapons at one point. Elena pats Alaric on the arm in a commiserating “I know what it’s like to love psychos” gesture before heading out to comfort Caroline. But this seems too simple. Someone is trying to frame the Gilberts or their cohorts.

Elijah and Klaus greet Stefan and Damon. (Too many sexy male vampires in the room at once, accompanied by several women/slaves (Damon approves).) Stefan says he doesn’t want to be there. Klaus says he will rip out their insides if they don’t dine with him. And one of the most homoerotic scenes in Vampire Diaries history continues. Tension between exes Stefan and Klaus escalate when Stefan mentions Rebekah and says he doesn’t want to kiss Klaus’s ass. Klaus says he’s confessed killing his mother to Elijah already. Damon says they were supposed to leave grumpy Stefan and home, and Stefan shouldn’t pass judgment on Klaus since he committed patricide. Damon tells him to pace himself. He also says he woke Elijah because “the more, the merrier” as he winks at him. Not to mention Klaus says, “Isn’t it nice, the four of us dining together? Such a treat.”

Elena comforts Caroline outside her house and throws around the word choice. It’s Caroline’s father’s choice to die. She wonders if Tyler stabbed him. Like I said, the list of Mystic Falls murder suspects is endless. Caroline struggles with hating her father, who is currently with her mother, and wanting to save him. She and Elena talk about dead fathers and how hard it is when you know they won’t be there for certain things. As Caroline cries, Matt shows up to support her. (Side note: the two are as surprised to see him as they are a ghost.)

Have you been working out? I have missed a lot.

Elijah asks Stefan about that babe Elena, and Stefan replies that he should ask Damon. Klaus guffaws at this and notes that Elijah missed so much. Stefan says that if Klaus mentions Elena again this dinner is over. Klaus smiles and puts his finger over his mouth. Oh you two. Klaus and Elijah tell the same story with Tatia, the original doppelganger. Every boy wanted her, but Klaus and Elijah loved her the most. They fought. Their mother used Tatia’s blood in the spell that made them vampires. And they reconciled, choosing family over all. Damon gives Stefan a look.

Bonnie updates her mother and they look at a grimoire. It shows a binding spell that requires two generations; they wonder if they work together, can they unbind the coffin? Abby says the witches won’t give her powers back. They’ve been trying to no avail. Bonnie (deservedly) sticks the knife in her mother and says she pretended she was dead since she knew nothing about her and no one talked about her. She said the one way Abby can prove how sorry she is is by opening herself up to the spirits. This pep talk works and they crack open the coffin. Bonnie goes to call Damon. Meanwhile, the coffin lid flies open. Ah!

Damon gets a text from Bonnie. He announces the deal as this: they return the coffin, the originals leave. Elijah says that’s fair, but Klaus points out he’s never going to leave Elena, his doppelganger blood. He also says that Damon and Stefan are the worst things in Elena’s life. They think they can protect her, but she will end up dead or a vampire. Damon goes to “get some air,” Elijah follows him, and Klaus offers Stefan a “drink,” aka a girl. Klaus bites into her as Stefan watches.

This hurts me as much as it hurts you!

Matt walks Elena home. Even he points out that this town is messed up; none of them should have to live this way. Inside, the power is out. They grab flashlights and see a puddle of blood, as well as bloody foot and handprints. Scary! They follow the trail to a stabbed Alaric. No! Alaric says Elena, the doppelganger, has to kill him, so he’ll die a supernatural death and be saved by his ring. But 1) Matt points out this is messed up and 2) Alaric’s ring is running out of steam. Elena stabs him anyway. Yikes. This poor girl. Matt holds Elena, who remains sitting over Alaric’s still dead body. Note: the themes of this episode are choices and family. Matt is alarmed to see Alaric cough back to life. (Thank goodness.) The sheriff tells Elena that Meredith was in surgery for the past six hours, so she has an alibi.

Klaus drinks the “delicious” girl and says that Stefan’s done well at messing up his relationship with Damon, no help needed from him. When Damon and Elijah return, Klaus offers to protect Elena and have her marry someone like Matt. Stefan shakes Klaus’s hand but then says “nice try,” so Klaus breaks Stefan’s arm and leg and shoves his hand into the fireplace. Elijah prevents Damon from helping him. To save his brother, and because luckily Bonnie has made progress, he agrees to grab the coffin. Elijah joins him.

This plot line is too depressing for me to delve into: Bill compliments Caroline and tells her how much he loves her, but he sticks to his beliefs that humans aren’t supposed to cheat death. Parents aren’t supposed to outlive their children. She pleads with him, saying that he’s so strong, he could survive vampire-hood, that he can’t leave her. He says it’s his choice—key word, obviously. He also says that she is wonderful, beautiful, and good, but this is life. He slowly dies, and Caroline and her mother cry over his body.

Klaus, why do you do this and then expect me to be your friend?

Stefan tells Klaus to kill him since he’ll just kill him after Damon and Elijah return. Klaus says that Stefan really has given up. He pushes him and asks where’s the fight in him, where’s the ripper. Even now Klaus can’t give him up. Kind of romantic in a completely messed up way. Unfortunately, they are interrupted. Fortunately, it is by Elijah, Damon, two stakes, and ORIGINAL OVERLOAD, YES: Rebekah, Kol, and Finn begin to attack Klaus. Elijah says he’s learned not to trust Klaus’s lies. He tells Stefan and Damon to move it because this is family business.

Stefan and Damon share a sweet moment when Stefan basically thanks Damon for saving him and Damon says that he owes Stefan for all the times he saved him. Elena calls and Damon actually ignores it for the time being. The two of them admit to loving her. Stefan and Damon go to the cave and find Bonnie and her mother unconscious and the coffin empty.

The Original siblings turn their backs on Klaus. They say that they will forever leave him alone, murder the doppelganger, and kill him with what is in the fourth coffin. They also compare him to their father, which enrages him. Poor Klaus is a mess. He is such a psycho, and he is so distraught. Then the contents of the fourth coffin arrive: their mother. Klaus assumes she is here to kill him, but she says that he is her son, so she is there to forgive him. She wants them to be a family. How awesome is this? First it’s amazing (if sad) that the whole family ganged up against Klaus. Now the band might get back together, and the rest of Mystic Falls and even THE WORLD are in big trouble.