The Vampire Diaries: The Departed (Season 3, Episode 22)

Alaric is getting revenge for how many times he's been killed!

The episode begins with Elena cheerfully waking up in her bed. She turns up some music and dresses in her cheerleading outfit. Aunt Jenna and Elena’s mother are there. Jeremy, fourteen, has not so subtly locked himself in the bathroom. Then Elena wakes up in a hospital bed. Meredith assures Jeremy that, other than a concussion, Elena is okay. The “concussion” is an excuse for flashbacks. She asks Jeremy if he wants to call anyone. He looks annoyed because he realizes he should probably call the Salvatores.

The brothers tell Jeremy to bring Elena home. For once Jeremy has done the right thing, but he can’t win. Calling 911 is not the answer when Elena is linked to the life of a dangerous vampire killer. Damon thanks Stefan for not being the stupidest brother ever, and Stefan says that one of them must hide Klaus so Alaric doesn’t kill him and the rest of his bloodline. Damon puts it very well when he says that their life is one big proverbial coin toss.

Elena’s friends, sans Bonnie, usher her home. Caroline tucks her into the couch and gets her tea and vodka (a good mix after a concussion, I’m sure). Elena dreams about her relationship with Matt. Back in the day when Caroline bugged her, Bonnie thought Elena and Matt were sweet, but Elena should be honest about her feelings. She wakes up to see Matt. Elena apologizes for stringing them along, and now leading on the Salvatores. She thinks she must decide what she wants and let one of them go. Stefan arrives and comforts her. It seems as though she always will love Stefan, even if she also loves Damon.

Alaric shows up to check on his ward. He also empties Meredith’s vampire blood vials and says they will suspend her medical license. I would feel worse for Meredith if Alaric’s words about the inefficiency of the vampire council weren’t so true. Alaric goes to the bar where he meets Jeremy. Alaric makes Jeremy a tempting proposition. Help him find Klaus’s body and free Elena and everyone else from a world of vampires. He says that Jeremy had better be on the right side of this. Alaric even suggests that Bonnie trap or desiccate him until Elena dies.

RIP Elena Gilbert the human.

Elena doesn’t want to be coddled by her ex-boyfriends, and she doesn’t want to follow Matt’s reasonable suggestion that she move. Stefan tells Matt that he really appreciates free will after losing it. Then who should show up but the wonderful Elijah. He wants to know where Klaus’s body is, but he promises not to revive him for decades, perhaps centuries (to teach him manners and keep Elena and her immediate descendants safe). He plans to lead Alaric around the world on a wild goose chase until Elena dies. Damon is on speakerphone, and he is adamantly opposed to Elijah’s “word.” He’s sure Elijah’s “lunatic siblings” will kill Elena once they get the chance. Elijah notes that he could have immediately killed Elena, but he didn’t. Stefan leaves it up to her. Elena agrees.

Jeremy tells Matt about Alaric’s offer. The two of them want to whisk Elena away. Jeremy says that even if he wanted to help Alaric, he doesn’t know where Klaus’s body is. Plot twist of the century: Matt does. Jeremy calls Alaric (still drinking, even in the afterlife) to tell him that Damon plans to bury Klaus in the woods off route 12. Everyone else is in on Jeremy’s little prank. He thinks Alaric bought it, but is he really that stupid?

Mrs. Forbes and Mrs. Lockwood tell Tyler and Caroline that Alaric outed them to the council. Their two children have to leave town. Caroline agrees to run away with Tyler (forever?) after they help their friends. They plan to meet up in two hours. Their supernatural if tragic bond seems too good to be true. I have a bad feeling about Tyler’s survival. After claiming that every bad idea stems from Elena, Damon leads Bonnie to a warehouse where Klaus is stored (irony). Klaus’s eyes creepily pop open. He seems to be sentient. She asks for a moment to tell Klaus off and rationalize letting him out of their sight. Elena frets about Bonnie and Damon, but Stefan promises to do what he can to keep everyone safe. She wants to say something but says they can talk later. “In case there is no later,” he kisses her. You can tell he wonders if it is the last time.

Damon points out yet again that it’s better Elena hate him and live than like him and die. Of course, Stefan is trying to keep her alive, too. Damon plans to meet “sexy Beks,” but instead is put in a headlock by Alaric who asks where Klaus is. (Thanks to Alaric’s stellar leadership, the police are now model law enforcers.) Damon says he’s in one of the thousand lockers. For some reason, Alaric knocks him out, making Damon incapable of helping but perfectly capable of continuing to plot Alaric’s demise in the future. I guess he wants bodyguards for Elena.

Don't trust those puppy dog eyes.

Matt is a remarkable ex-boyfriend. He listens to Elena talk about how Stefan saved her life and helped her live again after her accident and parents’ death. (Stefan also helped her relive that, but Elena doesn’t want to go down that memory lane.) He makes her glad to be alive. But apparently her feelings for Damon are all consuming when she’s with him. I honestly didn’t know that until this moment. I kind of wish they had showed that more. I’d seen attraction and affection in her eyes, but overwhelming, passionate love? She wishes her mother were there to advise her.

She remembers her mother’s advice when she had a fight with Matt. Her mom said that Elena had to be honest and set Matt free. She wasn’t going to lose him. Er, how does she know that? I know some people remain friends with exes, but I am not best buddies with mine, and I don’t think that’s completely abnormal. Elena wakes up in a pickup truck with Matt. Apparently he drugged her with tea so he could take her out of town. Elena’s reaction is hilarious; yet another male is trying to control her?!

Rebekah goes to meet Damon but, in spite of being one of the oldest vampires on the planet, can hear neither Alaric nor Damon. In fact, Damon even does the “grab from behind and cover her mouth for her own good” thing. Give me a break. This episode has had an “I want to protect you” from Tyler to Caroline, from Jeremy and Matt to Elena, from everyone to Elena, and now Damon has to protect a thousand year old vampire because… she’s a woman? I’ve often liked the strong women in The Vampire Diaries, but they are doing a good job of trying to undermine them. If this were Elijah, Damon would not be doing the sexy grab thing. Anyway, Alaric stops them from removing Klaus and stabs Klaus in the heart. Klaus burns and Rebekah cries (Claire Holt is always so good) before Damon tells her to run and chivalrously stands up to Alaric who just tosses him out of the way.

Damon calls Stefan to tell him the bad news. A teary eyed Stefan knows that his brother might die without, as Damon puts it, saying his “epic goodbye” to him. Stefan wishes Damon could say goodbye to Elena. He feebly mutters that Klaus was lying about him being their sire. Jeremy confesses that Elena isn’t at home. Caroline and Elijah show up. In a scene reminiscent of Elena’s joy ride with Stefan, Elena begs that Matt turn back. Matt tearfully says that they are close enough to Damon so that she can choose whether to say goodbye to Damon or Stefan. She might choose to go to Stefan just to say goodbye to three rather than one of her friends.

Elena's life has passion, adventure, and way, way too much danger.

Elena calls Damon to say goodbye because she is indeed going home to see Stefan and her friends. Damon still asks her who she would choose to bid farewell between the two brothers. This choice seems rather sadistic. Elena says that she loved Stefan immediately and she still does. Though she cares for Damon, and maybe would feel differently if she met him first (presumably not in his sociopathic incarnation?), she has to let him go. A crying Elena insists that Damon will survive this. Also, Alaric shows up and punches Damon.

Caroline, bawling her eyes out runs to “Tyler.” She tells him that Klaus is dead. Tyler gives her a speech reminiscent of Elena’s: she has a beautiful future ahead of her, and she is strong. He wants her to tell his mother that he ran off. He feels pain and starts to transform into a wolf. Caroline doesn’t feel anything. He tells her to go, and she finally does. I actually shed tears here, but it turns out the writers completely trolled me on this one. One of my favorite couples was usurped by the only couple on the show that physically repulses me. I’ll get to that later.

Elena tells Matt about Tyler. He starts to freak out. She tries to calm him down, and he poignantly says that this isn’t how their lives were supposed to be. A red-faced Rebekah shows up in the woods. She and Elijah embrace. There is something very tragic about seeing these strong, old creatures mourn their helplessness and inability to save their (crazy) brother. Elijah says that Tyler is dead (is he?!), but why are the others alive? The two of them are sure that Klaus was their originator.

In a big WTF twist which has somehow been done before, we discover that Bonnie has transferred Klaus’s spirit into Tyler. So either Tyler is dead or he’s in that special place possessed people go on this show. Bonnie says she did it for her family and friends, but no one is going to be pushing her around anymore. You go girl.

Wasn't my advice just as good as your mom's?

Rebekah calls Stefan to tell him that the deal is clearly off, with Klaus dead. She doesn’t want to spend any more of her life running. She stands in middle of the bridge, causing Matt to veer off into the water. We see Elena struggling for air as her father tries to escape. They’re under water. He says that they will be fine. Alaric beats up Damon (instead of just killing him?) and says that their friendship made him weak.

Apparently, Elena really did meet Damon first. Damon remembers meeting her before her parents died. He mistakes her for Katherine before advising her that she wants an all-consuming love with a little bit of danger. I had assumed her love for Stefan was pretty strong (and hey, he was the mysterious guy) when they first got together, but hey, no reason not to rewrite the past on this show. He then compels her to forget their meeting.

Scenes of Elena struggling in the water in the past are split with present scenes. This is all beautifully shot, and the Sigur Ros song is gorgeous. But I am distracted by Elena yelling “Matt,” “Dad,” and “I love you,” when she should be saving her air. In the past, Stefan shows up like Aquaman and saves an unconscious Elena. In the present, he and she take way too long silently arguing who he should save. Can’t he save them both? He’s a super powered vampire. She insists he save Matt first, and he does. She looks satisfied but slips into unconsciousness. CPR, anyone?

Alaric tries to stake Damon, but Damon overpowers Alaric. Damon realizes that the only reason Alaric is growing weaker is because Elena is dying. Damon panics: “You are not dead!” Vampire ghost Alaric says goodbye to Jeremy and says that he will always be there for him. Jeremy realizes that his sister must be dead. Stefan cries by Elena’s dead body at the hospital. Stefan, you really did fail on this one. You are incredibly fast and strong, and yet you couldn’t save two people at once? He should have saved Elena’s family, too, I guess. Damon is enraged. Meredith proves herself a huge liar because she downplayed the severity of Elena’s brain damage. Meredith gave her vampire blood to survive. I guess that’s what happens when you just go around healing people with vampire blood. If they happen to die, Meredith really is breeding more vampires, without anyone’s consent. I mean, sure, it’s good they’re alive, but she really is a horrible doctor. As we’ve seen some people would rather die than become a bloodthirsty creature of the night. Elena gasps to life. She is a vampire. No longer is this a story of a human girl caught between two vampires.

The Vampire Diaries: As I Lay Dying (Season 2, Episode 22)

Danger or romance? Is that the definition of Damon?

Elena watches her sexy brother as he sleeps before stepping mournfully into her aunt’s empty room. Damon arrives and apologizes for trying to make her into a vampire in order to keep her alive. She says she needs time to forgive him. He says of course. This may be their first normal conversation.

The music this season has been too cheesy, but this one still tugs at the heart strings. Damon takes off his ring and tries to commit suicide via sunlight. Stefan knocks him over and zips him into their dungeon. He says that Damon will not be dying today; he already has Bonnie looking for a cure. Stefan calls Alaric, who is REALLY an alcoholic now, to enlist him in saving Alaric’s best buddy, Damon.

I’m not displeased to see Klaus wake up naked. He says he can change into a wolf at will and remember every kill. Elijah seems somewhat happy to see him but wary about their deal. Elijah, like many brothers, has been cleaning up Klaus’s messes. Klaus just tells him to lighten up and seems to hope they’ll return to the old days. I’m glad these interesting oldies are in the final episode.

Jeremy, Elena, and Caroline acknowledge that they are screwed, but Caroline is chirpy and Elena says that she needs to participate in this Gone with the Wind movie party. Elsewhere: Hilarity! The mayor tells the sheriff that she’ll fire her if she doesn’t give her “results” in terms of keeping the town safe from vampires.

Bonnie and Stefan have a good bond. They go to the magical witch house, and Bonnie channels Emily who tells Stefan that there is no werewolf bite cure. Or is she only saying that because it’s Damon? They make it clear they don’t want Bonnie to abuse their power, and they mention Klaus.

I like that there are about three people watching Stefan and Elena.

Stefan adds to Elena’s pain by telling her that Damon is dying. To be fair, how mad would Elena be if Stefan kept this from her? Stefan notes that he is the one who changed Damon into a vampire, and he will help him by finding the very dangerous Klaus. He tells Elena to cheer Damon up; he knows she can give him hope.

Damon flashes back to Katherine’s seduction. A vision of Elena tells him that he had a choice; Katherine was toying with him, but he could have walked away. Is this a big moment in Damon’s moral development?

Stefan visits Katherine who is still stuck in Alaric’s apartment. She pushes him against the wall as Elijah and Klaus return. Klaus says that he will reunite Elijah with his family. Elijah says that Stefan knows how important family is. Elijah breaking his promise for his family compares to Stefan compromising his morals for his brother. Alas, Klaus stabs Elijah with the magic dagger. My first reaction is, “Klaus, I hate you, you cannot kill Elijah.” Then I remember that Elijah can be brought back to life. So Klaus pushes Stefan against the wall and seductively says, “Now, what am I going to do with you?” (Klaus and Elijah both seem bisexual to me. And why not? Wouldn’t it be boring to live for thousands of years and not be?)

Klaus enjoys torturing Stefan by stabbing him near the heart. Katherine says that Stefan’s just trying to help. Stefan says he’ll do anything Klaus wants if he gives him the cure. (!) Klaus pours himself a drink (of blood) and says that Stefan is just shy of useless. It sounds like he wants to turn him into a werepire.

Damon and Alaric share a beautiful scene. They drink together, Damon says his subconscious is haunting him, they drink more, and Damon tries to make Alaric hate and even kill him. Alaric simply says screw you and incapacitates Damon, who then says, “Elena?” Alaric clarifies that she isn’t here. He apparently doesn’t want to get mixed up with Damon’s crush.

Elena goes to the Salvatore mansion (which now belongs to her), and the Sheriff Forbes covers her mouth and says don’t make a sound. Alaric gets Damon more blood, but stupid Liz Forbes interrupts him as well, shuts him in the room, and steps into the dungeon with Damon. He says, “Liz,” and knocks her against the wall.

Are there any African Americans lining up to see this film?

Caroline complains that she can’t enjoy Gone with the Wind when Alaric calls to ask Jeremy where Elena is. Jeremy worries about Damon, but Bonnie says she is the one has to save Elena. Jeremy stands up to her, pointing out that Jenna died even though he was forbidden to help.

We find out that Stefan has been a true bloodaholic, on and off the wagon, vacillating between nobility and monstrosity, sometimes wiping out entire villages. Klaus bites Katherine (who has been watching and thinking what, I wonder) and promptly cures her with his blood. He pulls Stefan in to talk.

Damon escapes. Sheriff, you are failing at keeping the town safe. The Gone with the Wind film and fans are not helping Damon distinguish the past from the present. Jeremy escorts him away as Damon thinks he sees Katherine before asking for Elena.

The sheriff asks Elena why she cares about a murderer like Damon and doesn’t listen to her when she says that Damon is not himself. Elena is badass. Trapped by the police, she breaks a window with a chair. The sheriff finds Damon and shoots at him, but he speeds away. The bullet lands in Jeremy’s chest. You are a failure, Forbes! Her daughter tries to save him by feeding him her blood, but he doesn’t swallow. Not Jeremy too! Bonnie says she knows what she must do. Alaric picks up Jeremy’s body. Caroline tells her mom that she must let them do what they have to do.

Klaus slices his hand to fill a bottle with his blood. He wants Stefan to join him, to be his wingman, and go on a decade long bender. Like the fraternity boy Klaus is (thanks, kjewls, you are so right – alert the hazing police), he makes Stefan drink bag after bag of blood, as Katherine watches. Now, Stefan has been drinking human blood. He looks concerned, but should he be? By the way, as well all know, Klaus is way sadistic and creepy.

Now Jeremy won't need drugs ever again.

Bonnie tries to channel the witches again, but they don’t want to help. They say there will be consequences. Alaric awesomely says that they have to and they can shut up since Jeremy’s just a kid. Bonnie cries that she loves him and begs for Emily’s help. Jeremy wakes up from death for at least the third time, and it’s STILL a relief.

Damon stands in front of an image of a burning town in Gone with the Wind. Elena helps him as he flashes back to him and Katherine running through the woods. Damon says he chooses Katherine and wants to chase her forever. (Katherine loves to run, huh? She’s been running her entire life, so it makes sense.) She cuts her neck and tells him to drink her blood. Damon bites Elena but eventually snaps out of it when she says he’s hurting her. This scene is scary but sad. She embraces him and holds her neck. Elena has the worst life.

Caroline admits that she already told her mother about herself. She says she won’t be afraid of her mother, and she doesn’t want her mother to be afraid of her. Caroline throws her arms around her, and, after a moment, Liz Forbes does the same. Aw!

In spite of what happened last time a vampire suffered a werewolf bite, Elena says she will stay with Damon till the end. In a tearjerker of a scene, Damon realizes that he’s always blamed Stefan, but no one forced him to love Katherine. He says he made the wrong decisions and hopes Stefan will forgive him.

This is so depressing. Stefan is now on the ground like an animal plowing through bags of blood. Klaus restates his offer. Stefan still has enough sense to ask for Klaus’s blood, which Klaus gives to Katherine (who seems either vaguely concerned or turned on the whole thing) and commands him to give it to Damon. Stefan is horrified and sure that she won’t give it to him. Klaus shrugs. Isn’t it interesting that Stefan will do anything to save Damon, but he didn’t do the same with Elena? Is this partly due to the stress everyone’s been feeling?

A great echo of last season's finale.

Damon says he has made so many bad choices and is sorry for hurting Elena, but he is glad he is where he is today because he met her. He also wishes she knew him in 1864, because then she might like him. She cries and snuggles up to him, saying that she likes him now, just the way he is, and she forgives him. He says he knows she’ll always love Stefan. She kisses him and says you’re welcome. Somehow, it doesn’t even feel like she’s cheating on Stefan. It’s just sweet.

Katherine shows up (yay!) saying that she owes Damon one. But she remains her bitchy self, asking Elena if she really cares where Stefan is, declaring that he just gave up everything, including Elena, to save his brother. She quips that it’s a good thing Elena has Damon to keep her company and admits that it’s okay to love both brothers – she did. (Katherine admits she loved Damon!)

Klaus puts Elijah with his other family members. They’re in Mystic Falls? What? Klaus says that he knew Katherine wasn’t on vervain, and he wants Stefan to help him catch her. Klaus brings a girl to Stefan. After biting her, he says he didn’t compel her to “behave because a real ripper enjoys the hunt.” Like almost every time this happens, I have a hard time watching Stefan go bad. Stefan bites her and the screen shakes (hilariously) as she supposedly drops dead. Stefan looks like a zombie. Klaus sounds like a teacher as he says, “Now we can go.” They’re leaving Mystic Falls.

Awkward, but kind of cute: Bonnie and Jeremy chat. He ominously says he feels different. Alaric says he’ll stay the night there and makes fun of Jeremy and Bonnie. Then, who should show up but dearly departed Vicki. And Anna. My surprise requires too many question marks to type. Can Jeremy now see dead people? Dead vampires? Babes of his past? Awesome! I mean, poor Jeremy!

I have to say, I preferred this episode to the previous one, which was exciting but more predictable. Almost everybody had a good storyline in this one. Now they really got us revved for season 3.