The Vampire Diaries: The House Guest (Season 2, Episode 16)

After a long hiatus, The Vampire Diaries is back. Let's recall what happened last time...

Elena frets about being late for school, which she admits to forgetting about. Stefan quips "let's be later." Considering the coming Apocalypse, who can blame him for thinking, "School? No. Sex!" She consents to "five minutes" (a limit that apparently horrifies him), and they are cute.

Downstairs, "Elena" says hi to a mournful Damon who tries to put on a smile. He quickly determines something is wrong, throws her against the wall, and calls her Katherine. She plays dumb and Stefan wanders downstairs wondering 1) why Damon is strangling his girlfriend and 2) if he accidentally just had sexy times with Katherine. Stefan promptly runs upstairs and chokes Elena thinking she's Katherine. Katherine thinks this is hilarious. I hope Stefan apologized to Elena.

Matt and Caroline discuss going to a concert that night since business is slow at the grill. This gave me a hearty laugh since the grill is the only place to go in the entire town. Even vampires who don't need to eat go to the grill to consume alcohol. Matt is a little rude to Caroline, making me wonder if he heard Tyler's speech about taking care of her.

Bitchy Elena faces off against bitchy Katherine as the gang decides whether they can trust Katherine. They let her stick around, and Elena and Stefan go to school. Elena is understandably concerned (and maybe a little jealous), which Stefan finds slightly amusing. He comforts her in his usual fashion.

Katherine, in her fashion, vamps it up like a pro and makes the episode awesome. Also, she bothers Damon - will his torment never end? - who is trying to burn the indestructible Elijah. Katherine tells Damon that she is glad he isn't dead, even though she would rather he die than Stefan. Heartwarming.

Meanwhile, Stefan is good at convincing Bonnie to do things. He wants to talk to Jonas and Luka, who had planned to kill Elena. If I were Jonas and Luka I would not want to talk to Stefan and Bonnie either. Poor Luka is distraught, and Jonas is still convinced that Elijah is the only solution. After an unsuccessful meeting with the "good guys," they plot to bring ye olde Elijah back.

The girls, including Jenna, who is having problems with Alaric, decide to have a night alone. I look forward to lots of male-bashing. Though the convo will be awkward with everyone trying to be cryptic and Jenna being completely out of the loop.

Jonas sends Lukas's "spirit" into the Salvatore mansion. In an eerie scene, he tries to remove the stake from Elijah's heart, but Katherine sees the stake rising and pushes it down. Damon joins them and immediately turns a flamethrower on. He doesn't think much of it; just wants to stop witchy mumbo jumbo. Unfortunately for Lukas, the boy catches on fire and DIES. I want to feel bad for Jonas, with one child in peril the other dead, but this is all his fault. He's not innocent. He was going to kill a nice girl to save his daughter.

Scene: the grill. Matt disses Caroline, looking cute in her pink shirt. Jenna, as always, needs a drink. Caroline takes a breath and goes on stage, stunning both the performing band and her company. (Jenna's and Bonnie's expressions are priceless.) Then she uses her vampiric powers of compulsion for the best purpose ever: "You are going to let me live out my rockstar fantasies, and you are going to be my backup." She sings. Matt gets on stage and kisses her. It's cheesy. And I am absolutely not squealing and clapping my hands. Nope. Not me.

Elsewhere, Jonas grunts and puts a spell on Stefan when he shows up. (Did anyone else think it weird that Stefan is able to look past Jonas's charred body to Elena's items?)

Katherine and Damon have another tete-a-tete. She loves Stefan more, Isobel and John want the Salvatores out of Elena's life (because Isobel and John are so good for her)--Damon's heard it all before, so he stabs Katherine, just a little.

There is a beautiful calm before the storm. We know it will be short lived. Caroline makes out with Matt in a bathroom and tells him not to end the sexy session (like another vampire at the beginning of the show). Bonnie tells Elena about dating Jeremy in a hilariously blunt manner. Elena wants her brother to be with someone like Bonnie. Touching and sweet.

Then all hell breaks loose. Jonas throws a tantrum and burns the bar with his mind. Won't the town's supernatural cover be blown? In the chaos, Caroline gets attacked, Matt is stabbed, Elena and Stefan reunite and try to reason with Jonas, obviously to no avail. Caroline reveals to Matt that she is a creature of the night in the most dramatic way possible: by feeding her blood to him to save his life.

Stefan and "Elena" return to Elena's house, where Jonas lurks. "Elena" is actually BAMF Katherine, and she chomps on Jonas. He briefly returns life and grabs Bonnie before dying for real. Note: Jeremy is so casual about everyone's deaths he sounds a bit like a sociopath. Bonnie tells him that Jonas transferred power to her so she can kill Klaus. Did he do it in purpose? Is this good? Is there a trick? Intense.

Katherine tries to make it with Damon, who is so over her. Matt wakes up to see Caroline in his room. She says she's a vampire, he thinks of his dead sister Vicki, and, to no one's surprise, generally freaks out.

Jenna confronts Alaric about his wife's death. He says he can't tell her about it. Obviously, she is not comforted by this. Later, the doorbell rings, and who should show up? Alaric's ex/dead wife Isobel. Unfortunately. I kind of wanted her character to die the moment she appeared in her vampire form. I had hoped it would be Klaus.