The Vampire Diaries: Disturbing Behavior (Season 3, Episode 4)

The definition of "louche."

Klaus, Rebekah, and Stefan have excellent lives. Stefan and Klaus guzzle wine as the apparently feminist Rebekah tries on dresses and adjusts to 21^st century life. Stefan is allowed to step outside, and when he does, he spots Katherine staring at him like a sex bomb. He follows her. Katherine seems really curious. She wants to know Stefan’s plans, though she’s convinced he’ll fail no matter what. Their scene is full of sass, as usual. What is Stefan planning, and does Katherine have any ulterior motives? Katherine thinks Klaus is smarter than everyone; so does he know that Elena’s alive?

Elena makes chili for a (what else?) founders type party. Alaric says he doesn’t want to go as he observes Damon’s teasing. Obviously this scene is supposed to show that Elena and Damon are getting close. Also, Damon says Elena should ditch the necklace since it is a reminder of Stefan. Elena seems hurt that Stefan doesn’t want to leave Klaus, but lady – what choice does he have?

Jeremy wakes to the deceased Anna’s voice. She has been trying to contact him, but only after he so recently dreamt of her is she able to break through. They share a tender moment. Awkward! Not only is she dead but he’s also dating someone. Said girlfriend Bonnie arrives with Caroline. Bonnie greets Elena and her brother Jeremy, but Jeremy looks over her shoulder to see his sad looking ex Anna in the mirror.

Trouble in paradise.

I love this. Damon wants to kill Caroline’s awful father, but Liz says no – just erase his memory. She still doesn’t approve of Damon’s vampire “lifestyle.” He asks her if that’s what she told her gay husband when they got divorced. Snap! Damon plays around with this Bill fellow, snarks a few awesome lines, and mind whammies him. He points out that Caroline needs no help, even though he calls her annoying. Liz doesn’t look like she hates this intimidation.

Gloria grabs Rebekah in hopes of channeling her and finding the necklace. Rebekah seems sad that Stefan left. Meanwhile, Caroline and Bonnie disapprove of the always forgiving Elena cooking with Damon. Suddenly her necklace burns her skin. Bonnie touches the jewelry and it ignites. Elsewhere, Gloria looks at Stefan and says she found the necklace, but doesn’t know exactly where it is. Rebekah gets murderously pouty, and Klaus moves in on Gloria, “harshing [her] juju.” It is apparent that she is helping Klaus because she is afraid of him. Who wouldn’t be? Stefan successfully convinces them to leave for now by saying (sexily) into Klaus’s ear something to the effect of letting him pick who they eat. Klaus and Rebekah look totally turned on. How much does Gloria know?

At the city-wide picnic, Caroline informs Elena that she cannot change Damon while Bonnie tries to mojo the necklace. It then levitates on its own. Also at the party is Damon who laughs at the annoying Fell family’s chili. Damon reveals the meaning for all these gatherings: reasons for the anti-vampire council to meet. Alaric tells Damon to back off Elena. I’m kind of on Damon’s side in this one; it’s not Alaric’s business, and Damon is looking after her. But Alaric is cute; he says “take a beat” and admits that this is basically his only attempt at looking after her.

Bam! You're pregnant, Stefan.

The vampire threesome have a seventies party involving more murders than makeouts. It appears Stefan’s strategy is to play the two siblings, who only have eyes for him, against one another. This is both brilliant and extraordinarily dangerous. He offends and amuses both Rebekah and Klaus. I was so scared for Stefan when he told Kaus that he was no picnic and wanted to blow his own head off after being with him for a summer. Klaus looked annoyed, but he approved of Stefan walking away to supposedly write down the name of the dead lady. This episode is full of so many great moments.

Jeremy calls out to Anna, who visits him. She tells him not to trust Vicki and explains whyshe can communicate with him. Talk about the ghosts of girlfriends past. Is Jeremy crazy or what? This all seems very psychological. Back in someone’s bedroom, Bonnie lets Jeremy know that she upset the balance of nature by bringing him back to life. When he tries to help her read through her grimoires, Anna warns that the darkness she connected with Vicki is here. The necklace and grimoire light on fire. Is Vicki somehow connected to the original witch? Is Anna trustworthy? Very intriguing. Wah! Jeremy tells Anna that she can’t stalk him and Bonnie. Anna says she shows up when he thinks of her. He realizes he cares, but he can’t keep holding on. She disappears. Jeremy decides to tell Bonnie as Anna cries behind him that she is all alone.

Stefan goes to Gloria, apparently to find out what she knows, because he doesn’t want to tell her anything. She knows that Stefan is connected to the necklace, but neither wants to help Klaus. He moves to attack her, but she puts him down with her mind powers. Now we know why Klaus likes Gloria. She tortures Stefan to get what she wants out of him. In an intense scene, Gloria discovers that Elena is the doppelganger, and she is supposed to be dead. She also describes Stefan’s love for her and the guilt he always carries with him. Even though by now I hate her, I am sad to see her die at the hands of Katherine. Then I’m torn again because Katherine is a BAMF. “This is creepy,” she says before stabbing Gloria.

I enjoy having a small personal bubble.

 I am trying not to laugh to hard at comments at this anti-vampire council meeting, such as, “everything’s been quiet,” and “looks like we’ve made it through the worst.” Such liars, all of them. And they all know it. And who should show up but the freshly compelled (or not) Bill? Even he has to reference the stupidity of the council.

Caroline warns Elena about Damon, but I don’t see why everyone’s so concerned or think Damon’s so unredeemable since Stefan has been a mass murderer. Whatever the case, Caroline leaves when she sees her dad. After glimpsing him, Damon runs around like a chicken with its head cut off. He makes a crack about the irony of Bill outing Damon. Bill also wants to put vervain in the water system, which Elena (and the audience) notes is a good idea. It seems as though she’s trying to turn Damon into the new Stefan: be in control. Alaric stands by her side, and Damon “kills” him. This annoys Elena. Isn’t that hilarious? They know he’ll come back to life so it’s just like whatever that was rude.

Caroline and Tyler are adorable together. Caroline hides from her dad in Tyler’s room. He offers to pound her dad, and she is tempted, but she bought her dad his shirt. Caroline says Tyler reeks of football practice, but she likes stinky men so they start to get it on. Unfortunately they are interrupted by a phone call from Elena.

You smell like poop. I love poop.

Bill tells Damon that he loves his daughter and his self-discipline allowed him to resist Damon’s sloppy compulsion. Damon disproves Bill’s statement that Damon isn’t self-destructive enough to attack him by biting Bill. Caroline saves her sorry father from Damon’s torture, healing him with her blood and getting into a full-on fight with Damon, who is stronger but not as angry as Caroline. Elena comes in and declares that she wishes Damon didn’t have to act like a vampire. He points out that he isn’t Stefan, and Elena needs to stop trying to turn him into him. This is another poignant moment. Obviously Elena misses Stefan, and she also doesn’t want the warnings of her friends to prove true. This also reminds one of Elena’s words, “I like you now, just the way you are.” Clearly she is still thinking about this.

Katherine and Stefan are sexy together. She advises Stefan to bond with Klaus in order to make the less paranoid Rebekah jealous, since Klaus will never completely fall for Stefan (hah). Stefan finally confides that he knew Klaus and Rebekah when they were running from a mysterious vampire hunter.  Back at the coffins: so many levels in one scene. Stefan moves to free one of the originals, but Rebekah interrupts him. She makes like she loves him, kisses him, and even throws in a little comment about Klaus admiring him. He asks about who Klaus was running from. She calls in Klaus and says that she knows Stefan isn’t with them. Poor Stefan. Never play a playa, or in this case, two.

Damon drinks too much, but since he’s vamp, does it really matter? He fixes himself and Alaric a drink. Alaric gasps to life. Damon wants his friend back, but doesn’t want to apologize. Alaric realizes he’s in an abusive relationship and stomps off. In a wild turn of events, Alaric declares that the council is failing in protecting humans. There needs to be a group of humans that looks out for its own.

I let the blood dribble a little just to look slightly more menacing.

Again, so much complexity. Caroline forces Elena to admit that she is attracted to Damon; she is only human. ;) Though I kind of find this forced confession awkward, Caroline has great advice. I’m sure Elena’s not the only one to wonder why she is not the perfect person she always expects to be. Caroline spots her father and tries to make peace with him. He thanks her for saving him, but states that she will never be okay since she is a vampire. There is a powerful connection here between Caroline’s insistence that Damon is who he is, he says because he’s a vampire, and her father’s view of Caroline as something fundamentally evil. Can vampires ever really be reliable?

This episode is totally tricking me. Bonnie tells “Elena” that Jeremy is seeing ghosts. Elena asks for her necklace, due to its “Stefan-ness.” As soon as she gets it, she is gone. Katherine shows up at Damon’s with her best Elena face. Katherine is the last thing Damon needs in his life, but since he’s feeling cramped, he accepts to go on a joyride with her. Damon, will you ever learn? I see where Damon’s coming from, but this is a woman who could easily take you on a ride to certain death.

Klaus has “done something” to Stefan, who wakes up, startled. Klaus says that Rebekah’s instincts are almost supernatural, but Klaus is more curious than angry about what Stefan is hanging onto. Thus, he has brought Stefan and his gang of corpses back to Mystic Falls. How weird is it that Klaus may have ridden with an unconscious Stefan to Mystic Falls in the back of a moving van? Now that I think of it, he probably just went back there after they arrived. But maybe not.

Worst dad of the year forever.