The Vampire Diaries: The Departed (Season 3, Episode 22)

Alaric is getting revenge for how many times he's been killed!

The episode begins with Elena cheerfully waking up in her bed. She turns up some music and dresses in her cheerleading outfit. Aunt Jenna and Elena’s mother are there. Jeremy, fourteen, has not so subtly locked himself in the bathroom. Then Elena wakes up in a hospital bed. Meredith assures Jeremy that, other than a concussion, Elena is okay. The “concussion” is an excuse for flashbacks. She asks Jeremy if he wants to call anyone. He looks annoyed because he realizes he should probably call the Salvatores.

The brothers tell Jeremy to bring Elena home. For once Jeremy has done the right thing, but he can’t win. Calling 911 is not the answer when Elena is linked to the life of a dangerous vampire killer. Damon thanks Stefan for not being the stupidest brother ever, and Stefan says that one of them must hide Klaus so Alaric doesn’t kill him and the rest of his bloodline. Damon puts it very well when he says that their life is one big proverbial coin toss.

Elena’s friends, sans Bonnie, usher her home. Caroline tucks her into the couch and gets her tea and vodka (a good mix after a concussion, I’m sure). Elena dreams about her relationship with Matt. Back in the day when Caroline bugged her, Bonnie thought Elena and Matt were sweet, but Elena should be honest about her feelings. She wakes up to see Matt. Elena apologizes for stringing them along, and now leading on the Salvatores. She thinks she must decide what she wants and let one of them go. Stefan arrives and comforts her. It seems as though she always will love Stefan, even if she also loves Damon.

Alaric shows up to check on his ward. He also empties Meredith’s vampire blood vials and says they will suspend her medical license. I would feel worse for Meredith if Alaric’s words about the inefficiency of the vampire council weren’t so true. Alaric goes to the bar where he meets Jeremy. Alaric makes Jeremy a tempting proposition. Help him find Klaus’s body and free Elena and everyone else from a world of vampires. He says that Jeremy had better be on the right side of this. Alaric even suggests that Bonnie trap or desiccate him until Elena dies.

RIP Elena Gilbert the human.

Elena doesn’t want to be coddled by her ex-boyfriends, and she doesn’t want to follow Matt’s reasonable suggestion that she move. Stefan tells Matt that he really appreciates free will after losing it. Then who should show up but the wonderful Elijah. He wants to know where Klaus’s body is, but he promises not to revive him for decades, perhaps centuries (to teach him manners and keep Elena and her immediate descendants safe). He plans to lead Alaric around the world on a wild goose chase until Elena dies. Damon is on speakerphone, and he is adamantly opposed to Elijah’s “word.” He’s sure Elijah’s “lunatic siblings” will kill Elena once they get the chance. Elijah notes that he could have immediately killed Elena, but he didn’t. Stefan leaves it up to her. Elena agrees.

Jeremy tells Matt about Alaric’s offer. The two of them want to whisk Elena away. Jeremy says that even if he wanted to help Alaric, he doesn’t know where Klaus’s body is. Plot twist of the century: Matt does. Jeremy calls Alaric (still drinking, even in the afterlife) to tell him that Damon plans to bury Klaus in the woods off route 12. Everyone else is in on Jeremy’s little prank. He thinks Alaric bought it, but is he really that stupid?

Mrs. Forbes and Mrs. Lockwood tell Tyler and Caroline that Alaric outed them to the council. Their two children have to leave town. Caroline agrees to run away with Tyler (forever?) after they help their friends. They plan to meet up in two hours. Their supernatural if tragic bond seems too good to be true. I have a bad feeling about Tyler’s survival. After claiming that every bad idea stems from Elena, Damon leads Bonnie to a warehouse where Klaus is stored (irony). Klaus’s eyes creepily pop open. He seems to be sentient. She asks for a moment to tell Klaus off and rationalize letting him out of their sight. Elena frets about Bonnie and Damon, but Stefan promises to do what he can to keep everyone safe. She wants to say something but says they can talk later. “In case there is no later,” he kisses her. You can tell he wonders if it is the last time.

Damon points out yet again that it’s better Elena hate him and live than like him and die. Of course, Stefan is trying to keep her alive, too. Damon plans to meet “sexy Beks,” but instead is put in a headlock by Alaric who asks where Klaus is. (Thanks to Alaric’s stellar leadership, the police are now model law enforcers.) Damon says he’s in one of the thousand lockers. For some reason, Alaric knocks him out, making Damon incapable of helping but perfectly capable of continuing to plot Alaric’s demise in the future. I guess he wants bodyguards for Elena.

Don't trust those puppy dog eyes.

Matt is a remarkable ex-boyfriend. He listens to Elena talk about how Stefan saved her life and helped her live again after her accident and parents’ death. (Stefan also helped her relive that, but Elena doesn’t want to go down that memory lane.) He makes her glad to be alive. But apparently her feelings for Damon are all consuming when she’s with him. I honestly didn’t know that until this moment. I kind of wish they had showed that more. I’d seen attraction and affection in her eyes, but overwhelming, passionate love? She wishes her mother were there to advise her.

She remembers her mother’s advice when she had a fight with Matt. Her mom said that Elena had to be honest and set Matt free. She wasn’t going to lose him. Er, how does she know that? I know some people remain friends with exes, but I am not best buddies with mine, and I don’t think that’s completely abnormal. Elena wakes up in a pickup truck with Matt. Apparently he drugged her with tea so he could take her out of town. Elena’s reaction is hilarious; yet another male is trying to control her?!

Rebekah goes to meet Damon but, in spite of being one of the oldest vampires on the planet, can hear neither Alaric nor Damon. In fact, Damon even does the “grab from behind and cover her mouth for her own good” thing. Give me a break. This episode has had an “I want to protect you” from Tyler to Caroline, from Jeremy and Matt to Elena, from everyone to Elena, and now Damon has to protect a thousand year old vampire because… she’s a woman? I’ve often liked the strong women in The Vampire Diaries, but they are doing a good job of trying to undermine them. If this were Elijah, Damon would not be doing the sexy grab thing. Anyway, Alaric stops them from removing Klaus and stabs Klaus in the heart. Klaus burns and Rebekah cries (Claire Holt is always so good) before Damon tells her to run and chivalrously stands up to Alaric who just tosses him out of the way.

Damon calls Stefan to tell him the bad news. A teary eyed Stefan knows that his brother might die without, as Damon puts it, saying his “epic goodbye” to him. Stefan wishes Damon could say goodbye to Elena. He feebly mutters that Klaus was lying about him being their sire. Jeremy confesses that Elena isn’t at home. Caroline and Elijah show up. In a scene reminiscent of Elena’s joy ride with Stefan, Elena begs that Matt turn back. Matt tearfully says that they are close enough to Damon so that she can choose whether to say goodbye to Damon or Stefan. She might choose to go to Stefan just to say goodbye to three rather than one of her friends.

Elena's life has passion, adventure, and way, way too much danger.

Elena calls Damon to say goodbye because she is indeed going home to see Stefan and her friends. Damon still asks her who she would choose to bid farewell between the two brothers. This choice seems rather sadistic. Elena says that she loved Stefan immediately and she still does. Though she cares for Damon, and maybe would feel differently if she met him first (presumably not in his sociopathic incarnation?), she has to let him go. A crying Elena insists that Damon will survive this. Also, Alaric shows up and punches Damon.

Caroline, bawling her eyes out runs to “Tyler.” She tells him that Klaus is dead. Tyler gives her a speech reminiscent of Elena’s: she has a beautiful future ahead of her, and she is strong. He wants her to tell his mother that he ran off. He feels pain and starts to transform into a wolf. Caroline doesn’t feel anything. He tells her to go, and she finally does. I actually shed tears here, but it turns out the writers completely trolled me on this one. One of my favorite couples was usurped by the only couple on the show that physically repulses me. I’ll get to that later.

Elena tells Matt about Tyler. He starts to freak out. She tries to calm him down, and he poignantly says that this isn’t how their lives were supposed to be. A red-faced Rebekah shows up in the woods. She and Elijah embrace. There is something very tragic about seeing these strong, old creatures mourn their helplessness and inability to save their (crazy) brother. Elijah says that Tyler is dead (is he?!), but why are the others alive? The two of them are sure that Klaus was their originator.

In a big WTF twist which has somehow been done before, we discover that Bonnie has transferred Klaus’s spirit into Tyler. So either Tyler is dead or he’s in that special place possessed people go on this show. Bonnie says she did it for her family and friends, but no one is going to be pushing her around anymore. You go girl.

Wasn't my advice just as good as your mom's?

Rebekah calls Stefan to tell him that the deal is clearly off, with Klaus dead. She doesn’t want to spend any more of her life running. She stands in middle of the bridge, causing Matt to veer off into the water. We see Elena struggling for air as her father tries to escape. They’re under water. He says that they will be fine. Alaric beats up Damon (instead of just killing him?) and says that their friendship made him weak.

Apparently, Elena really did meet Damon first. Damon remembers meeting her before her parents died. He mistakes her for Katherine before advising her that she wants an all-consuming love with a little bit of danger. I had assumed her love for Stefan was pretty strong (and hey, he was the mysterious guy) when they first got together, but hey, no reason not to rewrite the past on this show. He then compels her to forget their meeting.

Scenes of Elena struggling in the water in the past are split with present scenes. This is all beautifully shot, and the Sigur Ros song is gorgeous. But I am distracted by Elena yelling “Matt,” “Dad,” and “I love you,” when she should be saving her air. In the past, Stefan shows up like Aquaman and saves an unconscious Elena. In the present, he and she take way too long silently arguing who he should save. Can’t he save them both? He’s a super powered vampire. She insists he save Matt first, and he does. She looks satisfied but slips into unconsciousness. CPR, anyone?

Alaric tries to stake Damon, but Damon overpowers Alaric. Damon realizes that the only reason Alaric is growing weaker is because Elena is dying. Damon panics: “You are not dead!” Vampire ghost Alaric says goodbye to Jeremy and says that he will always be there for him. Jeremy realizes that his sister must be dead. Stefan cries by Elena’s dead body at the hospital. Stefan, you really did fail on this one. You are incredibly fast and strong, and yet you couldn’t save two people at once? He should have saved Elena’s family, too, I guess. Damon is enraged. Meredith proves herself a huge liar because she downplayed the severity of Elena’s brain damage. Meredith gave her vampire blood to survive. I guess that’s what happens when you just go around healing people with vampire blood. If they happen to die, Meredith really is breeding more vampires, without anyone’s consent. I mean, sure, it’s good they’re alive, but she really is a horrible doctor. As we’ve seen some people would rather die than become a bloodthirsty creature of the night. Elena gasps to life. She is a vampire. No longer is this a story of a human girl caught between two vampires.

The Vampire Diaries: Before Sunset (Season 3, Episode 21)

Their love is legendary.

Alaric the vampire vampire-hunter doesn’t sleep, he waits. At his desk. At school. Caroline plans to clean up after the dance, but Tyler says he has to help Klaus move. For now, Klaus has given up on Caroline, but he thinks Tyler is still sired to him. Tyler says that this will all be over soon, but I’m not sure how they expect Klaus to get out of their hair without Elena. Miraculously, Rebekah is there, exactly on time. She and Caroline express condolences for Esther’s and Alaric’s deaths. I love Rebekah and their exchange. Alaric tries to kill Rebekah, but Caroline saves her. They stab him, but the stake does not kill him. In the parking lot, Alaric breaks Caroline’s neck and drags her away before he burns into a crisp, as Rebekah watches.

Jeremy and Elena are painting Alaric’s room in order not to think. Stefan shows up and offers support, but Jeremy is confused by his mom’s, er, sister’s romantic choices. He asks if they’re together again. Stefan says no, so Jeremy says that if Stefan is trying to be the good guy again, he should let them have one vampire-free day. I’m glad that at least one person is like, “GTFO vampires, and I am sick of team Stelena, team Delena crap.” Damon shows up with a bloody Bonnie Bennett.

Rebekah updates Klaus and demands that they leave immediately. Klaus says he’ll have to grab Elena first, and Rebekah rightfully calls his hybrids stupid. She tearfully tells him to choose hybrids or his family, vowing that they will look out for one another, but Klaus’s psychosis is too deep. Of course he chooses slaves over his loving sister. She storms out. Chez Salvatore, Damon blames Bonnie for Alaric’s transition, but Bonnie explains she had no choice. She also points out that Damon saved her life, so how mad can he really be? He adds that to his list of stupid acts, such as letting his “friend die with dignity” when he should have killed him. Bonnie says Alaric can’t be immortal, but she doesn’t yet know what the loophole is.

Stefonnie shippers better be all over this.

Alaric calls Elena and threatens to kill Caroline. She is tied to a school desk with pencils stabbed through her hands. Mystic Falls police are the worst. Alaric has lived with two of his students and now he is keeping one captive. I guess the police officers’ lives are just as messed up. Unfortunately for Jeremy, his day is not at all vampire-free. Klaus shows up, and the Salvatores send Jeremy to his room. Klaus is looking for Elena. Damon slams the door on his face. Stefan goes upstairs to find her, but she’s gone. Klaus picks up a newspaper outside and chucks it through the window.

Elena finds Caroline. Alaric says Elena can free Caroline. She starts to pull a pencil out, but Alaric stops her and asks, “How many times do I have to tell you? Stop trusting vampires!” I like evil-Alaric more in this episode. No neighbors have called the police about Klaus. No surprise there. In a hilarious scene, Klaus throws a soccer ball and pieces of white picket fences through their door. He lights a newspaper on fire, and replies to Stefan’s demands to stop with “come outside and make me.” After receiving a phone call, Stefan tells Klaus that Alaric will kill Elena and Caroline if Klaus doesn’t turn himself in. Klaus wonders if this will lead to his certain death. Stefan wishes it wedidre, but he doesn’t want Tyler, himself, or the other vampires he knows to die. Though previously mad at Alaric’s alter ego, Damon says he’ll take those odds. Stefan just wants to figure out a way to put Alaric down.

The three brainstorm on the porch. Klaus suggests Damon distract Alaric while Stefan saves Elena. Damon asks what’s to stop him from getting killed instantly. Klaus responds: “nothing.” He will always love Stefan. Damon asks if Klaus still likes Caroline or if she turned him down one too many times. Damon is really team Klaus/Caroline. Maybe he doesn’t like Klaus constantly trying to take his place with Stefan, who points out that this bickering isn’t doing anything. Bonnie suggests she try the desiccation spell her mother used on Mikael. They’ll still need all hands on deck, including Klaus’s. Klaus points out that the sun will set in eight hours, and if all fails, he will be long gone by then.

The parental figures I actually want to die just won't go away!

Alaric has been gagging Caroline with a cloth dipped in vervain, making every breath feel like “inhaling razor blades.” L He tells Elena he’s doing this to make it easier when she puts Caroline out of her misery. This is what Elena’s been training for: vampire killing. Klaus and Stefan arrive at the school. Klaus says that he will take Elena with him, if she doesn’t die. Stefan says he’ll go with them then. Clearly thrilled, Klaus explains why he is team Stefan/Elena, if he can’t have him, or if it will keep Stefan with him. Stefan says that he and Damon have grown closer. Klaus asks how they’ll feel if Elena chooses Damon over Stefan, who says that they’ve been through worse than Klaus. Poor Klaus is jealous of Stefan’s relationship with Damon, and obviously Damon’s relationship with Stefan.

Bonnie paces the floor waiting for Abby. Damon jokes about Abby’s reliable track record. Look who’s talking. Abby does show up. She is obviously still peeved at Damon. Abby hears the plan, but she says that Bonnie shouldn’t and can’t handle the dark magic needed to “parch a vampire,” as Damon says. (He notes he’s team Bonnie here. I have to admit, I thought Bonnie/Damon shippers were crazy in season one, but I actually like them together more than Damon and Elena.) She said that to stop a vampire heart, you have to stop a human heart. Did Abby kill someone?

Bonnie and Damon join Jeremy at the school. Damon wants Jeremy to take off his ring so he doesn’t become another psycho case if he dies. But, hello? Jeremy wants to keep it on and live. Damon doesn’t want to see Jeremy dead, though. I guess the spell just temporarily stops a human heart. They all swig from a little bottle of Bonnie’s blood, somehow strengthening the spell. Klaus confesses that he is their originating vampire, but is he telling the truth?

Bonnie: saving people who ruined her life since 2009.

Elena asks Alaric why he’s doing this. Do not ask that question ever again, Elena. Yet I forgive her. I also like Alaric’s little speech about how she doesn’t know what’s right or wrong anymore, and that siding with sadistic murderers would not make her parents proud. He tells her to stab Caroline, but she goes for him. He says he thought he taught her better than that. She notes, “You did,” and breaks a glass of vervain on the side of his face. She frees Caroline, but Alaric stops Elena before she can escape. Caroline runs into Klaus, who covers her mouth and whispers that she is safe. I might have liked them together, but their syrupy scenes ruin them for me. Apparently he genuinely cares about her, because he tells her to go home and stay inside. They’ll save Elena. Why does he like her? I choose to believe it’s because she reminds him of his sister, because Klaus has family issues.

Alaric throws Elena around and threatens to kill her, “the worst offender of them all.” But he does not kill her. Stefan and Damon ambush him, and he breaks their spines. Klaus grabs him and tries to rip out his heart. Bonnie starts the spell, as Jeremy just lies there in the woods. I can’t tell if he’s bored or turned on. Alaric breaks the connection by pushing Klaus away. He grabs the stake and tries to stab Klaus. Elena threatens to kill herself. She assumes that because her blood made vampire Alaric, her death will kill Alaric. Esther wanted an unstoppable killing machine, not an eternal one. Elena is hardcore; she starts cutting her own throat, and Alaric yells for her to stop. Klaus kicks him off, snatches Elena, and runs away. Alaric orders the Salvatores to get up and do what they do best: save Elena.

Elena wakes up at Klaus’s house, where a nurse drains her of blood. Klaus plans to kill Alaric by draining her of all her blood. Tyler stumbles onto the scene. Elena asks for help, and for Stefan, the first person she thinks of. This makes sense, in a way; Stefan is the one she’s been in a relationship with longest. She’s close to Damon, but Stefan’s recent actions have probably sent her back down memory lane, and not the recent, bad memory lane. Klaus says Tyler has to get him more bags. Tyler moves to help her, but Klaus physically stops him. Tyler leaves. Dang, this is turning out to be a fine episode. Klaus “comforts” her by saying that as the last drop of blood falls, she’ll simply fall asleep. It will be completely painless. This being Klaus, his words sound more menacing than sympathetic.

RIP. The bottom of the ocean should be pretty peaceful, dark, and quiet, other than a few nibbling fish.

Elena is fading, but she observes that Klaus won’t be able to make a huge army from her remaining blood. He delusionally says that his family will protect him, copying Stefan’s sentiments in claiming that his mother’s attempts on their lives drew them closer together. She says that if he believed his remaining family trusts him, he wouldn’t need to make any hybrids. He tries to turn the tables on her, saying that he’s saving her from the pain of choosing between brothers, because she, instead of him, is the one who tore them apart. I love that we see Klaus’s obsession with the Salvatores’ bond, the connection he wished he had. He gets in her grill and says “between us girls,” which one would you have picked? (I know this isn’t important, but Klaus is totally bisexual. As any vampire who’s 1,000 years old should be. Vampires are sexual beings and fooling around with one sex for that long would get old.) Is he hoping to whisk Stefan away? She chooses Rot in Hell, and he says, “you’re welcome.” Klaus touches her creepily, wishes her “sweet dreams,” and says “it’s been fun” before walking away.

Tyler sneaks in and starts to free a struggling Elena, but Klaus shows up again. In another great scene, Klaus says “so much for the sire bond.” Tyler says he’s no longer Klaus’s little bitch because he broke his bones 100 times for the girl he loved. Klaus thinks that’s impossible, but Tyler says that real love might be stronger than fake loyalty. Klaus says he gave him a gift, but Tyler says, I’m not your toy—you don’t want me, you just like the attention, yes it’s all false love and affection (courtesy La Roux). Tyler runs to Elena, and Klaus knocks them over. Elena hits her head and possibly her neck. Stefan and Damon swoop in. Stefan and Klaus share an intense moment (of course) as Stefan tries to grab Klaus’s heart, in an attempt to stop Klaus’s heart instead of Alaric’s. So how will they handle Alaric?

Bonnie has a witchgasm and Jeremy passes out. Klaus tearfully looks into Stefan’s eyes as Tyler holds Klaus and Damon takes care of Elena. Stefan looks hopeful that this will work—but also sad. Klaus turns to Tyler. Both of his ex-boyfriends/slaves are trying to take him down. Klaus looks pleadingly into Stefan’s eyes as he desiccates. I guess this means Klaus can be resuscitated later. Dying at Stefan’s hands, with Klaus’s angsty feelings of betrayal, is exactly the way I wanted him to go. Would you believe I don’t read fanficiton? The spell is complete. Bonnie or the ring manages to revive Jeremy.

Bonnie is horrible. A vampire bit her. How could she?

Klaus falls to the ground. Stefan’s voice sounds like it’s going to break when he says “we should get her home before the sun sets.” The others are freaked and shaken, wary of Klaus’s body and ready to get out of there, but Stefan needs a moment. Tragedy! Stefan and Damon escort Elena to her house. And, thank goodness, she outright says that she knows it’s selfish to string them along. I don’t think she’s selfish, just confused. She says that, after losing so many people, she doesn’t want to choose one and lose the other. Damon looks to Stefan for some words, but all Stefan can manage is “it’s been a long day.” Damon’s voice is husky as he says that they’ll call her from the road, when they’re done dumping Klaus’s body in the Atlantic. She tells the both of them to be careful.

Elena walks into the kitchen to find a “victory party,” aw! Though Alaric’s still out there, they have been trying to get rid of Klaus for more than a season. Matt is sad he couldn’t take another original down, since he’s as stealthy as a ninja. Tyler points out he would be in the hospital (at best). Caroline states that Elena will have to choose between Salvatores eventually. She really doesn’t. They could be in a polygamous relationship, she could choose someone else, or she could choose to be single. But Elena agrees. She thanks Tyler, who says his change of heart has been a long time coming. He and Caroline are wonderful together. Elena doesn’t approve of Jeremy drinking, even though she drinks and she’s almost his age. She’ll make one exception. Tyler momentarily terrifies everyone by asking, “Do you hear that? That’s the sound of a Klaus free life.” They toast to their family. I am a sucker for scenes like this.

I can’t say I don’t find it amusing that Alaric calls together the vampire council and exposes the sheriff and mayor for having supernatural children and being crap at their jobs. He surprises everyone by revealing that he is also a vampire. Why can’t every episode of TVD be like this? This is amazing, people are actually having conversations. Damon has the rest of the gang’s “we won” attitude, and he makes Stefan say it out loud “with feeling.” Stefan admits that they are a good team, and Damon says that he is in a good mood with Klaus dead and his brother halfway sane again. Stefan brings up Elena’s choice. Damon says that she’ll probably make a list of pros and cons and then dump them both. If she chooses, she chooses. Stefan says he’ll leave town if she chooses Damon. Damon clearly thinks he’ll lose, but he says he’ll do the same, and then they can be brothers again after she dies. They agree that all this over one girl is a bit much, but indeed they both think she is a special girl. Not that special, guys… c’est l’amour.

Elena tells Jeremy that their parents and Alaric were right. All vampires should die. But if she has to be the bad guy for wanting her friends and their family to live, so be it. Jeremy says that Alaric doesn’t actually want any of this, and he might end up killing Elena to commit suicide. Jeremy won’t let that happen. He walks out, and she continues to paint the room-of-dead-guardians, which they both hate. Her head and neck start to hurt, her nose bleeds, and she falls down to the floor.

Vampires, everywhere.

The Vampire Diaries: Do Not Go Gentle (Season 3, Episode 20)

1920s? Close enough.

Klaus’s art is interesting, but I can’t help but laugh every time we see him paint. If we just saw the aftermath, that would be okay, but showing him draw only after it was mentioned feels like an afterthought. “Rebekah” (Esther) supposedly gives Klaus the last white oak stake, which he throws into the fire. He wants to leave now that Stefan has turned him down, but his sister/mother asks him to go to the dance. She mentions Caroline. He shows some emotion but says that means nothing to him. “Bekah” then says that he should go for her, his sister, and, after a suspicious look, he agrees. The originals seem very incestuous, but that’s the least of their problems. Also, Caroline/Klaus is the one ship I do not in any way get. Why, just, why would a mass murdering psychopath who cares only about blood relatives and a bloodthirsty vampire go for a bubbly and inexperienced teenager? No eighteen year old would be a challenge for a one thousand year old. Caroline puts up less of a fight than any normal human would.

Alaric’s evil alter ego pretends to be his good self, lying to Damon that he doesn’t know what happened to the stake, and he has to head out into the woods. “Rebekah” returns and refuses to tell Alaric where the real stake is until she’s back in Esther’s body. Alaric stabs her with the special dagger dipped in oak ash. She falls to the ground and the real Esther wakes up. If Esther in Rebekah’s body is still a vampire, how was she able to walk into the cave? I don’t usually care much about inconsistencies like this, but The Vampire Diaries has had one too many mess-ups. It’s getting confusing as to when something is actually important or just a mistake on the writers’ part. On another note, is anyone else sorry that Rebekah will miss yet another dance?

Caroline wonders why Rebekah didn’t show up to set up her own dance. She also ships Matt and Jeremy who are hanging up stars. Caroline’s fairly nonplussed about Elena’s makeout session with Damon, but she insists that Elena take Stefan to the dance. Caroline really likes them together, maybe because of what Stefan’s done for Elena and Caroline, maybe because Caroline doesn’t want anyone to suffer her ex. To be honest, it kind of makes me want Caroline and Stefan to get together down the road, though I love her with Tyler. Also, Bonnie asked Jamie to the dance. Caroline’s probably hoping for a date, as well.

Is Matt the bus boy, no matter the decade?

Elena calls Stefan and awkwardly asks him to the dance. He accepts, and looks concerned but happy. Damon quips about accidentally stabbing Elena in the chest with a corsage, indicating out that Stefan isn’t exactly a safe choice, anywhere. Damon visits Doctor Meredith. He searched Alaric’s apartment, and found that Alaric hadn’t been taking Bonnie’s herbs. Meanwhile, Esther leads Alaric to the place where Klaus ripped out her heart, which is now a tomb. She convinces him to give over his ring. She drops it in a large chalice, melts it with magic, and dips the oak steak into the liquid metal. It hardens. Now it will not burn up after staking one original. She rather cheesily dubs it “the ultimate weapon for the ultimate hunter.” This is explained later, but initially I was puzzling over this phrase. Alaric is a horrible hunter. He couldn’t even kill his very human girlfriend. The ultimate prey, she meant? Except they’ve managed to establish that originals are pretty easy to kill.

At the dance, Caroline tells Matt that Elena is spoken for, and he should watch out for his safety. She then leaves him forever alone at the sight of an adorably dressed Tyler. He certainly fits into the time period. He says that he’s jealous of Klaus, but he’s also competitive. (Would you be jealous of Ted Bundy?) He literally sweeps a giggling Caroline off her feet. Jeremy awkwardly runs into his ex, Bonnie, and her date, the sweet Jamie. She is worried about him still wearing the ring, but Jeremy says that he’ll take off his ring when his sister stops hanging out with vampires.

Stefan picks up Elena from her house, and they share a moment, joking about how they have to go to the dance and live their lives. Does she really have to choose between brothers? Because I have a longer memory than the characters, I’m still a little scared of Stefan. She really should choose neither. Ah well. The two arrive at the dance and joke about Stefan’s 1920s dance moves and blackouts. Killing people sadistically is a barrel of laughs. She wants to dance it up, the way Damon would, but he waits for a slow song to make his move. He doesn’t want to hear about what happened between her and Damon. After all he put her through, he’s just honored to be her date. Judging by her apprehensive expression, she doesn’t seem to want to think about what he put her through.  He also says that he will apologize to Bonnie about her mother, though it will probably be futile. Suddenly, a wild Damon appears.

This is definitely behind the scenes. No one had this much fun.

Damon says that Alaric might kill Elena since she sympathizes with vampires. Oh no, not Elena! Damon wants to put Alaric, his best bud, out of his misery. Jeremy shows up and says Damon’s out of his mind. He’s right about that one. Jeremy also seems to be displaying very strong anti-vampire sentiments. Elena runs outside and into Esther who says that, willing or not, Elena will come. Elena follows. Damon and Stefan stride towards Elena only to realize that they are trapped in the school by a circle of salt. Esther cast a spell.

Jamie likes Bonnie’s friends, in spite of their weirdness. Poor Bonnie says that they’re the most important things in the world to her, and Jamie can’t be that normal since he agreed to go to the dance with her. After she tentatively kisses him, they start making out. Damon interrupts their “seven minutes in heaven” to announce their problem. On the dance floor, Tyler senses Klaus’s presence. Klaus asks where Tyler’s been (“mate”) and notes that he didn’t give him permission to leave. He asks to dance with Caroline. She says no, but Tyler accedes, to make Klaus think he’s still sired. Caroline asks why Klaus has to always prove he’s the alpha male. Klaus amazingly replies, “I don’t have to prove anything, love, I am the alpha male.” He and she dance as she looks at Tyler. He says Caroline would have loved the wild sexy girls of the 1920s who danced until they dropped. She should be nice to him since he’s leaving. She’s unimpressed, but he says that she’ll turn up at his doorstep in a year or a century because a small town life and a small town boy won’t be enough for her. Uh, couldn’t she leave both of these without going to Klaus?

Klaus leaves a phone message for Rebekah about how stupid this dance is. He then asks about the salt surrounding the school. Stefan helpfully says, “You’re mother’s back.” It’s funny to see the Salvatores, Klaus, and miscellaneous humans gathered in a room as Bonnie works her magic. Jeremy suggests that the humans cross the salt threshold to stop Esther, but the vampires look skeptical. Klaus threatens Jamie so Bonnie will work harder. Stefan convinces his ex not to hurt Jamie by claiming that Bonnie will let all the vampires die if they start killing humans.

I have a weakness for blondes. And guys that use hair gel.

In a big twist, Esther reveals that she will turn Alaric into a vampire hunting vampire, like Mikael, as strong as the originals. She will use dark magic to accomplish this. Every time he died and briefly visited the afterlife, Esther made contact with him, nurturing his dark hatred of vampires. Yikes! Unfortunately, I find Alaric’s glowering more humorous than threatening. Elena pleads with Alaric, saying that this isn’t him, he can’t want this. He says this is him and Elena only knows his weakest parts. Vampires are evil, and the blood of their victims are on his hands. First of all, dark Alaric is portrayed as evil, but the fact that the characters don’t care that their lovers and friends are serial killers is downright sociopathic. Elena doesn’t hesitate to refute “evil Alaric,” even after everything vampires have done to her. Second, how many times have we seen Elena plead with someone she loves, and the person, usually a man, says this is his true nature? We don’t need any more scenes like this. Esther cuts and bleeds Elena’s hand with magic. Alaric drinks the blood, and Esther kills him.

Jeremy donates blood so Bonnie can locate Elena. She tries, in spite of Damon and Klaus “lurking” over her. Damon doesn’t want to apologize, since he blames Elijah for Abby’s “death.” Bonnie says there’s always a choice. Esther is fighting her, so Bonnie can’t locate Elena. Bonnie guesses that Esther’s channeling a hotspot. Klaus knows where. Caroline is mad at Stefan for letting the humans leave to find Esther. But she tries to calm him. Stefan doesn’t want anybody to die, including Tyler, who has joined Stefan’s “I once loved but now hate Klaus” club. He wonders if killing Klaus will be the best option. Caroline says she doesn’t want Tyler to die because she loves him.

Esther tries to convince Elena that Jenna is in a peaceful place as she was pure, even as a vampire. Also, she refutes Elena’s claim that she is as bad as Klaus, killing the good with the bad. I have to agree with Esther—the “good” vampires have still murdered innocents. Klaus has eaten and tortured countless people who never hurt anyone. Still, Esther is ruthless. When Jeremy and Matt appear, Esther makes them point their weapons at one another. Alaric awakens and stabs Esther. He is confused. As Esther said, he would be himself for a little while.

I'm serious, Tyler! You're the cutest gangster I've ever seen.

Klaus blames Stefan for releasing his mother in the name of revenge. Stefan says he’s done with revenge. Klaus tries to reminisce about the 1920s, which had real moments of friendship and brotherhood. He says, “We’re strange bedfellows, you and I,” and I can’t help but misconstrue that. (Or am I misconstruing it?) Damon jumps in saying Stefan already has a brother, “not to get all territorial.” Klaus says he knows about the Salvatore’s epic bond, but it might weaken when Elena makes her choice. Bonnie says the spell is broken, and Klaus skedaddles. Stefan thanks her, but she says she didn’t do it for him.

Alaric doesn’t want to complete his transition. Jeremy is disappointed that yet another family member will die. Alaric says that his friend Damon will make sure everything goes down. Elena starts blaming herself again, but Alaric states that taking care of them was the closest to the life he imagined. I laughed aloud when I saw the townspeople (aka the cast) waiting outside with torches to honor Alaric. Still, their expressions are somber. Damon’s is especially heartbreaking. Alaric the unstoppable killing machine sounds extremely dangerous, so he deserves to be honored for his decision. Matt and Bonnie are teary about their teacher’s impending death, and Meredith, who hardly knows him, is also upset. Alaric walks back into the tomb and shuts the door. Wah!

Klaus undaggers his sister and yells at his mother’s corpse. He hopes she will be haunted by his existence for eternity. Yadda yadda he’s an egomaniac, etc.  Matt and Jeremy share a drink at the bar. “To Mr. Saltzman,” Matt says. Jeremy sheds a single tear after correcting him, “Alaric.” Elena freaks out as she cleans Alaric’s locker of his vampire hunting weapons. Stefan takes her into the gym and says that “someone” told him that emotions, good and bad, are what make us human. She thinks that was horrible advice and can’t accept that she has no one. Stefan says that she has him.

Damon drinks and mourns. Meredith gave him a sedative so he wouldn’t suffer. Damon’s insulted that Alaric refused his neck snap option. Meredith tells him to go visit Alaric. In a painful but poignant scene, Damon apologizes for killing Alaric, who teases Damon about the romantic dream he gave to Rose before she died. Tears roll down Alaric’s face, and the two drinking buddies celebrate the way they always do: with liquor.

Jamie thinks Bonnie’s amazing and asks if she’ll be okay by herself. She says no, so he plans to stay and comfort her. Bonnie and Jamie spoon on her bed. She dreams that Esther visits her, saying that her sisters need Bonnie to finish this. Damon watches his friend die. He stumbles outside to find Bonnie. He thinks she’s sleepwalking. She gives him a vampire migraine before stabbing her hand and feeding Alaric blood. He transitions into a vampire, bites her neck, and grabs the stake. So was all that “goodbye Alaric” stuff just manipulative, or is that really the last we’ll see of the Alaric we know?

The Vampire Diaries: Heart of Darkness (Season 3, Episode 19)

I've been compelled not to care.

Alaric is locked up in a cell. Damon slips him a copy of Jekyll and Hyde. Elena says Stefan told her to go on a road trip with Damon to see how she feels about him. They will pick up Jeremy in Denver. Alaric is surprised at Stefan’s attitude, but he doesn’t seem to think it’s his business to disapprove, at this point. Stefan tells Damon that he will find out from Alaric where the other white stake is. Damon is skeptical since Stefan is good again. Apparently there’s no road trip, Elena and Damon are flying first class.

Caroline is horrified to discover that Rebekah has changed the decade dance’s theme from 70s to 20s. Rebekah doesn’t know what Klaus sees in Caroline with her affinity for tacky years. Caroline says maybe it’s because she doesn’t sleep with everyone she makes eye contact with. Matt tries to interrupt this battle of the blondes by suggesting they do both, but the ladies are adamantly against that. Besides Matt has to admit that the 20s are cooler. It turns out, this was all an act to excuse Caroline’s exit. Apparently, she will also take a trip to find Tyler.

Elena and Damon find Jeremy. Damon quips that next time he compels him, he should make Jeremy better at baseball. They want him to commune with Rose, which he doesn’t think is possible. It turns out one of his friends is Kol. Someone on tumblr mentioned that. I thought it would be hilarious and stupid, but the writers decided on it. Kol is extremely easy to “kill.” After he hits Damon with a baseball bat, Damon stabs him with its shards. He tells Jeremy that he should have been suspicious when he made a friend so quickly, considering his personality. They go to a motel, and Jeremy asks about Rose. Damon describes the dream he gave her before she died, and Rose appears to Jeremy.

A vampire!

It’s interesting that Stefan has a worse relationship with both Jeremy and Alaric than Damon does. Stefan gives Alaric some booze and explains that Elena has to go on that trip with Damon, and Stefan probably has to torture Alaric. Alaric says that his alter ego is driven by his anger. He hopes that Jeremy’s alter ego is a pot smoking hippy pacifist. Stefan thinks the other Alaric is too judgmental, and he’s not Alaric; he’s the darkest parts of Alaric. How can they be so sure of this? Couldn’t he be possessed? Obviously Stefan is referring to his vampire side as well. Klaus comes in, carrying the stake that Stefan left lying around. Stefan explains that they should find the stake and destroy it to save the both of them as well as other vampires. After hearing this, Klaus decides not to immediately kill Alaric. Well, he does kill Alaric, but he’s wearing his life-saving ring. Stefan basically shakes his head at his boyfriend’s violent antics.

Rose still thinks Damon’s hot; Damon also asks about her. She says she’s rooting for him and Elena. Jeremy translates some version of this. She is also happy. Unfortunately she was sired by “Scary Mary” Porter, not an original. But she will try to figure something out. Stefan and Damon fill each other in. Stefan seems concerned that Damon and Elena are staying at a love shack. Jeremy asks about Elena and Damon.

Matt drives a suspicious Rebekah home. He just says that it’s sad that she can’t trust anyone. 1) Matt, don’t do this to Rebekah. 2) But I kind of like you, Matt. 3) This Rebekah constantly gets pwned thing is getting old. 4) I totally like them together. Inside, Rebekah finds her mother, who looks even younger than before. Rebekah is shocked, scared, and ready to kill her. But Esther says that she is dying. Rebekah tearfully says that Esther’s loving reunion isn’t going to happen. Esther says that she has been watching over Rebekah’s joys and especially pains for 1,000 years. No one should live that long. But Rebekah heartbreakingly says that she hasn’t lived. Due to Abby’s vampirism, Esther’s connection to the Bennett witches has been broken, and she dies, even more pathetically than Finn. Even Klaus is somber when he sees his dead mother.

Batter up!

Caroline finds Tyler in the woods, and it’s way over the top, and they start having sex. But a serious looking Tyler says, “You have no idea how much I missed you,” and I’m so relieved that they’re back together again. Tyler, looking hot, turned about 100 times. He says he feels freer, different, and more himself, but he has to test whether his sire bond will work. Caroline informs him that unfortunately, when Matt killed an original (Tyler is stunned), they discovered that vampires from that bloodline die. She says Damon doesn’t care about Tyler. He will kill Klaus if he didn’t sire the Salvatores. Did we actually hear this discussed?

Elena hilariously ogles Damon’s partly naked body. He is surprised to catch her gaze. She shuts her eyes before boldly opening them again. He gets in bed with her and she asks why he didn’t tell her about what he did for Rose, and why he doesn’t let people see his good side. He says he doesn’t want them to expect good. She starts to cry/heavily breathe and they hold hands. Then she gets up to get a drink outside. He follows her. She says “don’t.” He asks why. Then she turns around, runs to him, passionately kisses him, and they have a hot and sexy make out section. At the beginning of this scene, I was laughing at how bad it was. But the end of the scene is glorious. Jeremy interrupts their sexy time with news that Rose found Mary. He looks at Elena judgmentally. Jeremy, Elena has been there for you throughout your bad decisions. Elena looks confused but liberated.

Alaric wakes up. Stefan spent the night reading Moby Dick. Alaric takes his ring off because he thinks the only way his alter ego will make an appearance is if he thinks he’s going to die. Stefan doesn’t want to hurt Alaric, but he attacks him. Stefan is pretending to be in the mafia, but Alaric doesn’t think he’s trying hard enough. Stefan knocks out a tooth causing profuse bleeding. Stefan is afraid of his bloodlust, and Alaric thinks that is the key. Stefan refuses to give in. He knocks Alaric against the wall, and the other Alaric appears. He calls Stefan weak, pathetic, a monster, but Stefan can’t even get that right. I love Stefan’s expression here. He is still in bloodlust mode, but happy and shocked to finally get the other Alaric.

My friends aren't real?! At least my decision to move to Denver was entirely real.

Jeremy shows Elena and Damon Mary’s house, and they tell Jeremy to stay behind. I don’t know why, except to allow Jeremy to make a crack about them making out. Apparently, Damon the sex God also hooked up with the super creepy, super old, but not ugly Mary. They find her stabbed to the wall. Kol sits there with a bat in his hands: “Quite contrary.” He says that Mary was an original groupie. She literally did it with all the originals who were alive while she was. He throws Elena and beats on Damon to make up for his brother’s death (yay Finn! He cares about Finn!) and Damon’s multiple attempts on Kol’s life.

After Kol leaves, Damon realizes that Elena is testing her feelings for him based on what Stefan said. She points out that every time there’s a bump in the road Damon lashes out and sabotages himself. He romantically asks what if he DIDN’T? What if there are no bumps? Her eyes glaze over; it’s an enticing and scary prospect. Damon awesomely says he will take the high road, so the decision she makes is not easy.

Stefan wails on Alaric and threatens to kill him. Alaric says the stake is in the cave where vampires can’t enter. Stefan immediately leaves to find Klaus and Rebekah in his living room. Rebekah yanks Alaric to the caves, and Stefan breaks up with Klaus. No! Or I guess they’ve already broken up, so he crushes Klaus’s hopes. He asks Klaus to kill him, and Klaus says maybe he will. Stefan calls him out and says that he obviously doesn’t want to since he hasn’t killed him so far. Klaus says he knows his friend the ripper is right beneath the surface. Stefan said that he’s accepted that part of himself so Klaus and that side cannot control him: “Now get out of my house, you abusive ex-boyfriend.”

Elena, I know one cure for being beaten up by an original. Back to the love shack, quick!

Rose articulates to Jeremy team Delena. She, with her years of wisdom, says that Damon is good for Elena. He surprises her and is either the worst thing or the best thing for her. Stefan’s love is pure and he will always be good for her. This argument sounds like a justification for those fiery, horrible relationships that sometimes end with one partner being killed. I am not in favor of those, and they don’t always last that long. Not to mention, is Stefan really always good for Elena?

Interestingly, Caroline indicates that she will go against Damon’s wishes if Klaus didn’t sire Damon. Tyler finds Klaus’s drawing and idiotically says that he will spend the night somewhere else. He just tortured himself to be with her. If Caroline had something to hide, she wouldn’t leave the drawing lying around. And does he think she’s really so weak as to fall for someone who did this to him? Still: did she just think the drawing was nice? It is completely stupid that she didn’t burn it. I would be terrified.  If anything happens between Klaus and Caroline, it better be because she becomes darker. I do not see an ounce of logic in their relationship as it stands. Elsewhere, Alaric finds the stake and says that there’s only one, so if Rebekah helps him, only one original has to die. Rebekah steps right into that cave, and, in a twist I didn’t see coming, reveals that she is Esther. She still wants all the originals to die, so the two of them have a lot in common. What happened to Rebekah?

The Vampire Diaries: The Murder of One (Season 3, Episode 18)

At least I got a few lines and closeups right before I died.

Elena tries to deliver chocolate muffins to Alaric, but Damon Ric-blocks her. He says that Alaric is normal but still on lockdown, before making a few jabs about how Elena isn’t actually mad at Damon and that her suspicion is paranoia. As soon as she leaves, we see that Alaric and Stefan are cutting up the Original-killing Wickery Bridge sign.  Rock music plays as they whittle away. No surprise, the uptight Stefan is a micromanager. Alaric says he will turn himself in because, unlike some people in the room, he wants to take responsibility for the lives he took. As Damon points out, Stefan’s morals become murky with revenge against Klaus on the brain, and Damon tells Alaric to put the ring back on. The two immortal killers think Alaric should worry as much about the dark side that his semi-immorality brings as they do theirs. Plus, Bonnie’s herbs seem to be working.

In the woods, Elena tells Caroline that Alaric killed her father. Caroline starts to lose it, but Elena says that, like all their supernatural friends, Alaric is a victim of his circumstances. Caroline calms down enough to tease Elena about being a savior of the cursed and damned. Matt shows up, but Bonnie, supposedly distraught over her mother leaving again, does not. Stefan and Damon arrive and hand everybody Original-killing stakes.

Finn calls his little brother Klaus’s charms hollow and says he only wishes to see him dead. His mother is trying to figure out another way to kill them, and Finn said he’s still on board. Klaus threatens to put him in a box again, and Finn points out that Klaus will lose his “precious Rebekah” if he does so. Klaus says that wouldn’t be the first time, and Finn just rolls his eyes before walking into Rebekah. Finn is stunned that Rebekah is siding with the homicidal Klaus, but she’d prefer to be temporarily dead than “extinct.” Death threats don’t exactly work against Finn, so Klaus just beats him up and says Finn’s not taking the rest of them down with him.

Discussing torture, and looking cute while doing it.

Klaus continues to toss Finn around. He says that while he can torture and force Finn to give him his blood to undo the spell, he chooses to persuade him instead. Sage appears, and apparently the two of them are still “true loves.” Rebekah is disgusted and opts to get vengeance on Damon. Thanks to a phone product placement, we learn that Kol is in on helping his siblings. Klaus stares at Sage and Finn, annoyed. He might not like Sage, but it seems as though all the Original siblings are envious of the others’ happiness.

Stefan and Damon explain their “detailed” plan which involves distracting 1,000 year old vampires with teenage love interests. That sounds like a terrible plan. They also mention holding Rebekah’s arms down while another stakes her. How? She’s many times stronger than any of them. Back at home, Alaric asks Damon if he learned nothing about how stupid it was to hide the moonstone in a soap dish. Clearly not, because Damon is hiding these magical stakes with firewood. Rebekah breaks in, throws Alaric down the stairs, and stabs Damon in the gut, announcing, “Hello, lover.”

Elena, Caroline, and Matt meet at the town square (I guess). Bonnie won’t return Elena’s calls. Caroline shrugs since Bonnie’s been a bit peeved off lately. They spot Finn and Sage. Instead of immediately trying to kill Finn, Caroline eavesdrops. Busybody. Finn remembers this as the place where natives would make sacrifices; Sage points out that that’s where they’d secretly rendezvous. (Romantic?) Finn thought she’d moved on. Sage says she loves him still and wants him to live. He smiles. Elena calls Stefan to ask for backup. Stefan realizes that Sage, who is very old and strong, is with Finn. He also discovers that Rebekah kidnapped Damon. Stefan says they have a problem. Way to plan ahead guys, to think of every option, like you said.

This time, nothing will go wrong! We are gonna get them good!

Damon is tied up with some bear traps. Rebekah explains that she wants to one up Damon after his ungentlemanly behavior. She plans to bleed him of vervain and compel him to kill Stefan or Elena. She acknowledges that it will take some time since vampires heal. I’d think a very long time. Damon tries to make like he thinks it’s hot and kinky, but he is a bit concerned. Klaus stops in, and even in the midst of this, he and Rebekah have time for sibling banter. He thinks she should turn him upside down, Rebekah says she doesn’t need any advice; he rolls his eyes and smiles because obviously he’s pretty much an expert. In the next room, Bonnie is working on unlinking the siblings. Klaus has Kol spying on Jeremy. If it were this easy, couldn’t the Originals have gotten everything they wanted long ago? They should be able to know when a human is lying. They should be able to threaten anyone. Heck, they should be able to control or read everyone’s minds, to an extent. Confusion.

In an interesting scene, Caroline approaches Alaric about her father’s death. He apologizes. She points out that she is a murderer as well. She killed someone, and enjoyed it. That man could have been someone’s father as well. They all have blood on their hands. All they can do is hope they can be saved. Downtown, Stefan tells Elena that Alaric is okay, and they need to figure out their next move. She wants to stop everything to save Damon. She doesn’t know that Klaus is planning to unlike them, but isn’t this exactly what she said she wouldn’t do? Let her humanity get in the way? Perhaps she meant she wouldn’t hesitate to murder an Original, but didn’t they cover this? Stefan says Damon would NOT want them to stop. If they get an Original at this point, they will help Damon by getting rid of Rebekah.

In what is clearly a dream, Damon thinks that Elena rescues him and revives him with her blood. Basically he fantasizes what Stefan already experienced. Rebekah and her revealing top say it might not be so nice when someone else messes with your head. He says she couldn’t have thought he really had a thing for her. Her expressionlessness masks deep hurt and disappointment. He blames this desperation on her brother issues, specifically being bossed around by Klaus for 1,000 years. She stabs him again. Bonnie hears a scream, but Klaus tells her not to worry. She hilariously says that this mass murderer bothers her, and he just prods her about her mother and threatens to rip her and those she loves apart until she helps him. He shows her vials of his siblings’ blood and bites his hand to give her his. Bonnie begins to work on the spell, chanting while mixing blood in a glass. Yum. She pours blood on the table.

Bored now.

Sage shows Finn the joys of tequila, and they seem happy together. Finn is “awed by the evolution of mankind.” Sage is “embarrassed” by his lack of knowledge. A vampire that Sage turned walks by. Finn wonders why; Sage says that they need an ally since they’re in enemy territory. Stefan listens to their conversation. He passes Matt a bottle of vervain. Sage admits she doesn’t know how many people she’s turned into vampires. Finn looks serious, so she tells him not to judge her since he turned her. He says his passion overtook his morals. She says her passions overtake her morals on a daily basis; it’s called living life to the fullest. He smiles more. As wicked as Sage is, I like them together. Stefan texts “get ready.”

The lovebirds drink another shot and spit out the vervain. They follow Stefan out of the bar. (You know which bar. Don’t even ask.) I have to pause before Stefan or someone else stabs my precious Finn. Sage knocks the stake out of Stefan’s hand. “Leave Finn alone!” I say in Chris Crocker’s voice. Elena shoots Finn in the stomach with a crossbow and Matt stabs him. Bonnie’s spell is almost complete. The blood separates. Finn bursts into flames. All my, I mean, Sage’s hopes and dreams are gone. She is inconsolable.

Bonnie looks upset. Rebekah thanks her. She sees a bleeding Damon. Klaus says she can save the man who turned her mother into a vampire. She chooses not to. Dang. But, if we’re going to be honest, Elena, Caroline, and all these “heroes” are the idiots for constantly saving these psychopaths, which Damon sometimes is. Instead, she calls Elena to tell her that Klaus has Damon. Caroline, Elena, and Stefan were just chipper a minute ago about killing Finn (fuuuu), but Bonnie says that Klaus forced her to do a spell. Going against her morals, fearing for Jeremy’s and her mother’s lives—Bonnie is not okay. She has had a very bad day. She breaks down, and I just want to give her a hug.

Don't cry, Sage! The pain will be over soon.

Stefan says again that he will get revenge on Klaus, in spite of Elena’s protests. Caroline quips that she misses well-adjusted Stefan. Aw. Sage busts in (“Ding dong!”) and throws Stefan back into the room. He says he had to kill Finn. Then she and the vampire she turned die. Kill one Original, kill anyone who was turned by them, and those turned by them, and on down the line. Elena wonders if a hybrid bit them. Caroline suggests Sage died of sadness. L Elena says that doesn’t explain Troy, the other vampire. Well, maybe Troy fell in love with Finn too, Elena, did you ever think of that? Maybe Troy fell in love with Finn from afar for the few days of Finn’s existence. Is it bad that I find it amusing that they realize half their friends and family will die if they kill the Originals? The world would be a safer place. There are supposed to be only a few werewolves left anyway.

Stefan visits Damon (who notes that this went differently in his head), and says he will exchange the Original-killing weapons for Damon. Klaus is surprised at Finn’s death and Rebekah begins to get upset, and she is annoyed when Klaus compels Damon to go home. Damon’s her plaything. Damon tries to rip his hands through the traps. In fact, Stefan did leave three stakes at home. Elena says they have to figure out which Original to save in order to keep Caroline and the Salvatores alive. Caroline points out that if Klaus dies, Tyler will die.

Rebekah enjoys watching Damon suffer, and Klaus jokes, “Stop, before you hurt yourself.” He compels Damon to tell them how many stakes they made. Stefan says he’ll get the rest. Klaus says he’d better before he forces Damon to chew off his own tongue. Tears in his eyes, Stefan quietly asks what’s wrong with Klaus. Klaus gets pissy and asks, what is wrong with Stefan? Does he have no appreciation for him? Klaus says that, as a friend, he’s given Stefan a target so he can turn his hatred away from himself and onto Klaus. He says Stefan should be thanking him for giving him a purpose.  Stefan says enough and pushes his ex against the wall. Klaus tells him to step down or the Salvatores both die. If they sleep together, will this solve everything? I’m only partly joking. Even though I am devastated that they just killed Finn, this episode gets a million points for including both Finn and Klefan. I don’t know if Rebekah is jealous or what, but she says that this boys stuff is ridiculous. She lets a broken and bleeding Damon go as a symbol of good faith. Yeah, real good faith. Maybe Damon’s comment about Klaus controlling her got to Rebekah. She says her rules now. For the millionth time, Klaus threatens everyone Stefan loves.

Stefan, you know me, I can't say I don't care about anyone.

Rebekah says she can’t believe Finn is dead. Klaus says good riddance, he was an embarrassment, a lovesick fool who slept in a box longer than he lived as a man. My baby! Rebekah says that he was still their brother and asks if Klaus would say the same about her. He says that she let the Salvatores loose with their weapons, so, yes. And if she stays while Klaus goes, she is as pathetic as Finn. She says that the Salvatores may fight like dogs but at least they know what family is; they’d die for each other. Klaus says he wanted a family once, but Rebekah realizes, soon after stating that Klaus was the only one in her family who stood by her, that Klaus is actually the one who destroyed it. You can see on her heartbroken face that she underestimated her favorite brother’s callousness.

Klaus’s comments make Stefan realize that he has to move on from his abusive ex and figure out himself. He feels as though he hasn’t gotten anywhere. Elena says that he has, and she still loves him. Stefan says he knows, and he will always love her. But he wants her to admit that she also loves Damon. Elena says she doesn’t know what she feels. Even though forcing this confession is creepy, Paul Wesley is so good here, the scene is rather effective. Meanwhile, Damon runs into the arms of Alaric, who comments that Damon is still alive. They can’t find the stake Alaric hid behind his books. They realize that Alaric’s vampire-hating alter-ego must have taken it. Damon is none too pleased that his buddy could kill him. Alaric looks sheepish. Now I will need the hiatus to recover from this tragic but moving episode.

The Vampire Diaries: Break On Through (Season 3, Episode 17)

... to the other side!

Meredith and Elena discuss how Meredith figured out Alaric was the killer, but she wanted him to stay safe since it wasn’t his fault. Alaric gets an MRI and has a very weird confrontation with his evil side in the mirror. Alaric says nothing is wrong with him—or he’s gone insane. He gives the ring to Elena. Damon comes in to check out his pal—literally. He looks him up and down and says he looks horrible. I like Damon and Elena’s conversation. She is angry at him for letting Stefan drink from a girl. Damon says that he made Stefan drink and that Stefan is a predator, one who has built up a castle of delusions that periodically crumbles. (Or maybe it was a wagon that he falls off. Some metaphor.) Elena says that Stefan was able to control himself before, on animal blood or by drinking a little of her blood. She snarks that Damon might not be the best person to teach Stefan self-control.

Caroline is adorable, hilariously bubbly about her favorite kind of blood (B positive), and thrilled that she was able to steal much needed blood from the blood drive. Bonnie is somber, watching her depressed mother adjust to vampirism. Caroline explains that this is understandable. Abby is mourning losing her connection to nature. Bonnie helps a flower grow with her powers, explaining that they can literally feel the earth.

Meredith, Alaric, and Damon visit the construction on Wickery Bridge. The mayor gives Alaric trouble about forgetting a sign, and Damon spots Sage, whom he coincidentally remembered last week. He calls her his hottest teacher; she says he was her favorite student. Rebekah tells her to get lost. Sage says she was looking for Finn who was recently freed from that coffin his “rage-aholic” brother carted him around in. She assumes Finn went looking for her, but Bekah said he didn’t mention Sage. Also he’s gone. Probably forgot about her. After Bekah leaves, Sage calls her an elitist bitch. Damon is just keeping quiet around these much older women.

Hate sex all around?

Damon says, “Finn? Really?” Sage says that Finn’s the one for her; he turned her to be with her forever. Then Klaus killed him. He and Bekah always treated her like a peasant whore. She says she’ll help Damon get inside her head because she’s a girl, and so has a weakness. Clearly Sage is a bit sexist. Also, hasn’t Finn’s actions kind of contradicted what has been said about him? Elijah said he hates vampires, and it seems to be so. Why did he turn Sage, who’s so unlike him? Damon puts the moves on Rebekah, saying he thinks she’s sexy, and that she’s as mean as he is. He says the two of them and Sage could have a real party. She says not a chance, but when he leaves her face says, “I have definitely not had enough sex to make up for those 100 years daggered.”

Caroline asks Jamie to help Abby with her transition. Add Jamie to the list of normal humans who are terrified of Caroline and even vampire Abby. Caroline says, too bad. I completely agree with Jamie when he says none of this is normal. Elena calls Caroline to ask Bonnie for help with Alaric’s problem. Alaric admits that his early violence was due to his youthful stupidity. His dark side was funneled into hunting vampires. What about the restraining orders, not from bullies, but from his girlfriend? He tells Meredith that he killed her vampired cousin Logan Fell. She says she doesn’t judge, either way. But she wonders about Damon. He says he tried to kill him, but Damon killed him instead.

Elena comes across Stefan serving himself human blood from a bag. She takes the book on Samantha Gilbert. Stefan says Samantha killed herself by being too crazy, so there’s no hope for Alaric. A peeved Elena tells him to get back to his drinking. The whole scene is awkward. Damon stumbles upon Stefan binge drinking. Stefan’s stressed and testy about Elena. Damon tells him he needs control, to own it, live it, love it. He says Stefan has to get lost unless he’s interested in a Sage Rebekah sandwich.

Rebekah brings the booze, I bring the dinner.

Jamie arrives and he and Bonnie share a moment. I like Jamie. Still, so many movies, even now, shy away from having interracial relationships. It bothers me that the only African American guy on this show is going to date the only African American girl. (I’m not counting her mother Abby, who is an adult, obviously.) Abby spots Jamie, creepily vamps out, and bites him. Poor guy! After he agreed to help out. Abby says she should have left, but Bonnie says the only way Abby can only hurt her daughter is by leaving. Caroline says she cured Jamie with vampire blood, and she needs Bonnie to do her a favor.

Alaric gives Elena his information and tells her about his will, in case anything happens. Elena says it won’t. Bonnie and Caroline call Elena to tell her that they might be able to reverse the ring spell; sometimes witches who obsess over dark magic have similar problems. Will Bonnie ever have this problem? She clearly doesn’t want to hear Elena’s apologetic voice, but she makes an effort. Elena goes to Alaric’s loft to fetch his wedding ring for the spell. Meredith says Alaric will stay with her and her tranquilizers.

Sage makes some cruel comments about Rebekah’s desperation, and Damon says that Finn’s gone so Sage should give up. Bekah shows up with a bottle of wine she stole from Klaus who stole it from some queen. Damon and Sage dance while Bekah feeds on their poor piano player. Damon joins her and starts kiss her, saying he wants her, not Sage. Sage watches. Cut to: Damon and Rebekah had sex, but no threesome as far as we know. Sage touches the relaxed, unguarded, and asleep Bekah’s head, and apparently because she’s so old, figures out that Rebekah wants the old tree. Sage tells Damon this by inviting him into the shower, kissing him, and planting the ideas in his mind with her vampire powers of manipulation.

My, what big teeth you have!

Damon looks in the old Salvatore logging records to discover that Wickery Bridge is made of that very oak tree. He burns the records and tells Sage they’re not public. She says weapons that can kill Originals are clearly a problem for her. Damon says he met Finn, and she’s not going to miss him. Sage threatens to rip his head off. He says if she helps him kill Rebekah, Finn and she can walk into the sunset. Sigh. This means Finn instead of Rebekah will die. I’m sure of it. Why? No one will care. None of the main characters will care. Most of the audience, other than myself, will not care. The character’s just been introduced.

Alaric told Stefan that Elena was at his apartment, so he meets her there and says he’s not trying to hurt her, yadda yadda. He also says that because Samantha Gilbert was under suicide watch, she had no personal possessions, no rings. Yet she was still violent. Elena says she’s not giving up on Alaric or Stefan, in spite of Stefan saying not everyone can be saved by Elena. They find pictures of Alaric’s victims.

Alaric wakes up from a nap and empties Meredith’s tranquilizers as she makes coffee. Alaric asks if Meredith ever feels remorse since she and the other council members aren’t protecting this town from vampires any more. I like that this is the reason for the killings. He stabs her, but she slips away, splashes hot coffee on him, and runs upstairs. She kicks him and stabs his hand with scissors while slamming the door on him.

I honestly could not think of anything remotely tasteful to use as a caption.

When Damon returns from wherever, he finds Sage gone. He drives (though vamping would be faster) to a burning Wickery Bridge. Rebekah’s glad to ruin his plan. Sage says the Originals are linked, and Damon lied to her. He says her creepy boyfriend wanted to die. She doesn’t believe this. He threatens to kill her, which she points out he can’t do, as she’s centuries older than he is. Damon says when he finds a way to kill the Originals, he’ll take out Finn first. (Please don’t! Finn’s done nothing to you, Damon.) This disconcerts Sage.

Elena and Stefan also find a package for Jeremy saying that he will continue the work with his ring, cleansing the council so the work can begin. Scary. Elena grab’s Alaric’s wedding ring and goes. She finds a strange Alaric. Elena says she didn’t see Stefan at his apartment, and she didn’t find Alaric’s ring. He goes for a knife, and Stefan knocks him out. After smelling Meredith’s blood, he requests that Elena come upstairs with him. Stefan struggles with bloodlust, but he manages to feed Meredith his blood, healing her, before leaving immediately afterward.

Jamie and Caroline garden. Caroline says her dad went through the same thing as Bonnie’s mom, but it didn’t work out. Caroline goes inside and begs Abby to stay, saying that no one is better off without their parents, but Abby leaves. At the Gilberts, Bonnie gives Elena an herb to give to Alaric. Elena asks Bonnie to forgive her. Bonnie just hugs her and says of course she does. Forgive her for what? I sympathize with Bonnie not wanting to be around Elena for a while, but Elena hasn’t done anything more wrong than usual. Elena calls Jeremy and asks if he’s talked to Alaric. He says no, but he has to go out with some friends at the moment, and he’s doing well. Tears in her eyes, she says everything’s fine. She just missed him and wanted to hear his voice. I really like the moment, but shouldn’t Jeremy know about the ring?

Alaric wakes up to find his guardian angel Damon watching over him. Alaric doesn’t seem to remember anything. Apparently Bonnie did a spell, but Alaric will still be under house arrest (light). Damon finds Stefan having an alcoholic drink “a little early in the day” for him, according to Damon. Ironically, Stefan is toasting to control. Damon reveals that the Wickery Bridge sign is made out of oak. Not sure how he knew that. The two of them are ready to hunt. Damon says let’s go kill some Originals. I say no.